To our lips
we sucked
at one another's hands
inside caves light stained
ingrown wire and corrugated beams
little boy memories
layered like worlds
shifting plate and sinew
among us stone
and marbled selves
eyes wide color squeezed
language stretched to fray
composed in jerks
crumbled of sudden
fallen through mirrors
in betweens multiplying
like sobs
To our lips
we pulled
at one another's grapnel cables.
mar 7, 2012
2 comments:
Hi Jessica; how are you? This is Luke from earlier; hopefully, I'm commenting on the right blog. If this isn't Jessica, please disregard this comment. Nonetheless, I wanted to let you know that I really liked your poetry, especially the wonderful metaphors in Signified, and the wonderful way in which you utilize assonance and alliteration in order to create rythym in your short lines. However, sometimes, I believe that your lines are too short and abstract. For instance, In Winter Fly, I would like to know what kind of light the fly is sitting on, why it is there, and why it is significant. Granted, I know that I could fill in these gaps myself, but some hints would be nice. Conversely, I really think that you should send these poems out to be published if you want to; I know Johnathan Penton, the head editor of Unlikelystories.org, and I'm fairly certain that he would publish these poems. Nonetheless, It was really nice to meet you today, and I'll talk to you soon.
Luke, you have built quite a reputation sermoning your readers. You tend to misundersand the non-narrative poet and those who consciously commingle pieces of time and space into alternate stanzas. Flight of ideation is modern and exciting and allows the reader to project themselves into disjointed imagery. If you are looking for signposts, abstract poetry is lost on you. Try cultivating more empathy for other readers' visions and you will appreciate a greater appreciation for poetic diversity. Everyone is entititled to their opinion, most of all, the poet.
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