The other woman
under her hair
she loved more than I did
she held my freedom
hidden in the deep black shade
somewhere under her hair
She loved even my bare head
loved the whole country
without shame
and only God's help she received
to teach love
from under her hair.
nov 8, 09
Now to Die While Living
I die
I be
I train car
I November sun set
I child ignoring me
I believe
I empty
I wait and want
to die
to be.
november 8
I be
I train car
I November sun set
I child ignoring me
I believe
I empty
I wait and want
to die
to be.
november 8
Fallout
Of all the perfect moments,
that should have been deadly
The tree that could have
broken my neck with loving relish.
The smell of laughter soup
that could have burst our emaciated bellies.
The words that thrash
all my blood until I run
without the permission of oxygen
Could a following moment survive
this fallout beauty?
november 8
that should have been deadly
The tree that could have
broken my neck with loving relish.
The smell of laughter soup
that could have burst our emaciated bellies.
The words that thrash
all my blood until I run
without the permission of oxygen
Could a following moment survive
this fallout beauty?
november 8
Words Fit Squares
They pile up in folds
they pile against fingers
they pile in my mouth, my throat
they pile up in the miles
how can I prepare
to sort them into saying so.
november 8
they pile against fingers
they pile in my mouth, my throat
they pile up in the miles
how can I prepare
to sort them into saying so.
november 8
Into Dashes
Passing diesels
break the sunset
into dashes
Birds break the skies
Breath breaks lives
And the between us
breaks against lashes.
nove 8
break the sunset
into dashes
Birds break the skies
Breath breaks lives
And the between us
breaks against lashes.
nove 8
Sunset Snow Cone Syrup
Sunset snow cone syrup
for sharing
for passing
a summer cold
the planes ride it so slick
they melt they swirl
then dive
to lick the very last drop.
nove 8
for sharing
for passing
a summer cold
the planes ride it so slick
they melt they swirl
then dive
to lick the very last drop.
nove 8
an attic day
the fern molts, but its alien shoots grow fuzzy in their own mulch
his clothes lie in the doorway, a puddle of time, all the days he's worn them
fruit flies harass the window herbs, sometimes my face, and I don't even have the bitterness to mind
I gather the tea mugs, clinking, checking them for oracles
Keep moving through the dust galaxies,
but my heart always runs ahead, keeping time
in a safe thought far from here.
nov 3, 09
his clothes lie in the doorway, a puddle of time, all the days he's worn them
fruit flies harass the window herbs, sometimes my face, and I don't even have the bitterness to mind
I gather the tea mugs, clinking, checking them for oracles
Keep moving through the dust galaxies,
but my heart always runs ahead, keeping time
in a safe thought far from here.
nov 3, 09
The Word Good
Good, the powerful word,
scares the hope out of us.
Its weight, its repercussion
tires in our useless hearts.
We turn from all its possessions:
construction, structure, strength
peace, play, proportion
fidelity, faith, fellow.
And hum helplessness
into one another's ears.
oct 29, 09
scares the hope out of us.
Its weight, its repercussion
tires in our useless hearts.
We turn from all its possessions:
construction, structure, strength
peace, play, proportion
fidelity, faith, fellow.
And hum helplessness
into one another's ears.
oct 29, 09
The Dream Breathing
We fight the buoyancy of dust bodies
swimming from light
into the bed
searching under rocks
letting the difficulty of breathing
go
our bubbles break the surface
and leave us so far below now.
We play like breathing
into one another's mouths
laughing at how awkward
the duties of breath can be.
Reckless we sink
not asking if we'll ever come back
from this swim.
10,29,09
swimming from light
into the bed
searching under rocks
letting the difficulty of breathing
go
our bubbles break the surface
and leave us so far below now.
We play like breathing
into one another's mouths
laughing at how awkward
the duties of breath can be.
Reckless we sink
not asking if we'll ever come back
from this swim.
10,29,09
Squirrels
squirrels pack their jaws,
run in always opposite ways,
as fear calls to fear.
There is no end to dreams,
and their ready memories,
their devastating realities,
I can barely wake up from,
I can barely un-believe enough
to stop running
from fear to fear.
oct 29, 09
Elijah
Leaves snap together
bicycle spokes click locustly
i'm always watering eyes
into the eyes I meet
careening after the leaves
toppling against their torrents
i want Elijah to show
his fiery team
surely shimmering in ignited limbs
i just want to go
none of the eyes have need
for me
they are full of their own
oct 19, 09
bicycle spokes click locustly
i'm always watering eyes
into the eyes I meet
careening after the leaves
toppling against their torrents
i want Elijah to show
his fiery team
surely shimmering in ignited limbs
i just want to go
none of the eyes have need
for me
they are full of their own
oct 19, 09
The Circus
The leaves gather
holding baccalaureate
Children so new
they've not had their lessons.
The circus comes for a week
maybe more
if we don't dirty the magick carpet
too much with hustling through.
The children in their impossible costumes
don't cry as they gather for our applause
unless it's for us
who in our trample for the kingdom
miss Beauty, the sage jester.
oct 25, 09
holding baccalaureate
Children so new
they've not had their lessons.
The circus comes for a week
maybe more
if we don't dirty the magick carpet
too much with hustling through.
The children in their impossible costumes
don't cry as they gather for our applause
unless it's for us
who in our trample for the kingdom
miss Beauty, the sage jester.
oct 25, 09
The Day's Recipe
2 drops twisting spine joints
2 drops biting nails
2 drops deciding more sleeping or
2 drops staying behind glass
2 drops regretting the day's recipe.
oct 25, 09
2 drops biting nails
2 drops deciding more sleeping or
2 drops staying behind glass
2 drops regretting the day's recipe.
oct 25, 09
Mother Believes
Mother finally believes God may be good
that her daughters may be too
that she may be too.
She finally looks into the web
of winter tree limbs
and sees a simple pattern
repeated and expanded
into taking breath
stopping it
from its ragged in and out
slavery
and freeing it into the wind.
oct 25, 09
that her daughters may be too
that she may be too.
She finally looks into the web
of winter tree limbs
and sees a simple pattern
repeated and expanded
into taking breath
stopping it
from its ragged in and out
slavery
and freeing it into the wind.
oct 25, 09
Cultured
Piling stones
to horde our souls
the scrapers
the rises
the apart-ments
We could all be the same
and not know
And when I find a same
from the inside of my apartment
They are so separate from here
I shake and shake the Polaroid
but I continue to disappear
and all the meaning
stored inside these piled stones
is crumbling.
Oct 5, 09
to horde our souls
the scrapers
the rises
the apart-ments
We could all be the same
and not know
And when I find a same
from the inside of my apartment
They are so separate from here
I shake and shake the Polaroid
but I continue to disappear
and all the meaning
stored inside these piled stones
is crumbling.
Oct 5, 09
Hold Still
Eat representation
Eat communion from
one another's mouths
Scrolls we've swallowed
and coughed up
Paralyzed in their roll
Paralyzed in their left to right writing
It cannot be different
It has always been this way
Experience, paralyzed
To make it as edible as representation
Hold still
or
Things Fall Apart
Our mouths empty of community
The body and the blood
are just bones.
Oct 5, 09
Eat communion from
one another's mouths
Scrolls we've swallowed
and coughed up
Paralyzed in their roll
Paralyzed in their left to right writing
It cannot be different
It has always been this way
Experience, paralyzed
To make it as edible as representation
Hold still
or
Things Fall Apart
Our mouths empty of community
The body and the blood
are just bones.
Oct 5, 09
Paraphrase
Freedom, a paraphrase for killing
Neology for creating self
not creating life
a new open, a person
it closes the order, the court
liberate self, liberate death
tame the uncivilization of the living
quiet the chaos of communication.
Aug 31, 09
Neology for creating self
not creating life
a new open, a person
it closes the order, the court
liberate self, liberate death
tame the uncivilization of the living
quiet the chaos of communication.
Aug 31, 09
Tragicomedy in Lab
The class dissected the worms
looking for the circulatory system
finding the parts, the patterns,
constituents. critical. to cut.
They laughed out loud
at the chaos in their eyes
And they turned brooding
over the tragedy
of order
Still new, and splayed out
close enough to see the miraculous
and close enough to see the death.
Aug 31, 09
looking for the circulatory system
finding the parts, the patterns,
constituents. critical. to cut.
They laughed out loud
at the chaos in their eyes
And they turned brooding
over the tragedy
of order
Still new, and splayed out
close enough to see the miraculous
and close enough to see the death.
Aug 31, 09
Script
The children sang a unified identity
and it was for power
they were taught to begin and to end
together
and the song was written for power
they sang it for pleasure, for the joy
of solidarity, of sound.
And their playground language
never followed the same script.
But they grew up in power,
inherited it
Their culture
their singing
their identity
was power
their education
their family
their religion
was power.
They forget the lines
they check the script
This land is your land
This land is my land
from California
to the New York Islands.
sept 1, 09
and it was for power
they were taught to begin and to end
together
and the song was written for power
they sang it for pleasure, for the joy
of solidarity, of sound.
And their playground language
never followed the same script.
But they grew up in power,
inherited it
Their culture
their singing
their identity
was power
their education
their family
their religion
was power.
They forget the lines
they check the script
This land is your land
This land is my land
from California
to the New York Islands.
sept 1, 09
Speak Me
Speak me
Language names me
it is before
me
It named itself before
I did
Before syntactic 'I'
Before semantic 'I want'
Language showed my face
in front of me
off of me
not under my hands but
before my eyes
And showed 'this is you'
eyes
and 'this is also you'
hands
And I understood 'this is not me'
the space between my eyes and hands.
Oct 5, 09
Language names me
it is before
me
It named itself before
I did
Before syntactic 'I'
Before semantic 'I want'
Language showed my face
in front of me
off of me
not under my hands but
before my eyes
And showed 'this is you'
eyes
and 'this is also you'
hands
And I understood 'this is not me'
the space between my eyes and hands.
Oct 5, 09
The Certain Light of Rain
The certain light of rain
that brings its own time with it
Makes the street lamps buzz
in the afternoon
Deciding- what authority -that all the day people
need a curtain pulled
After weeks and weeks of spinning holiday
weather into golden thread
The certain light of rain
puts barriers between every blink and step.
Sept 19, 09
that brings its own time with it
Makes the street lamps buzz
in the afternoon
Deciding- what authority -that all the day people
need a curtain pulled
After weeks and weeks of spinning holiday
weather into golden thread
The certain light of rain
puts barriers between every blink and step.
Sept 19, 09
Humidity
We kept so many towels in that house
as if they could soak up the humidity
but it was what made the moss grow
constantly. Something we
couldn't change
couldn't leave.
And when we did, we realized
it was air, not just extra water.
Our lungs are end
of autumn leaves.
Sept 6, 09
as if they could soak up the humidity
but it was what made the moss grow
constantly. Something we
couldn't change
couldn't leave.
And when we did, we realized
it was air, not just extra water.
Our lungs are end
of autumn leaves.
Sept 6, 09
Don't Chant
Prayer in circle
Do mantras work?
Don't Don't Don't Don't
When God is something other
than belief
Prayer distills into
don't don't don't don't
Trying to forget good and bad luck
Trying to remember some formula
The rune for opening God's jaw
How to make God answer
I won't I won't I won't.
sept 16, 09
Do mantras work?
Don't Don't Don't Don't
When God is something other
than belief
Prayer distills into
don't don't don't don't
Trying to forget good and bad luck
Trying to remember some formula
The rune for opening God's jaw
How to make God answer
I won't I won't I won't.
sept 16, 09
Something
The words go crazy
until all they say
is something something
oh something.
Which is good.
Isn't this praying?
Using words in place of silence
So when they go crazy
it's at least something
that they're there at all.
sept 16, 09
until all they say
is something something
oh something.
Which is good.
Isn't this praying?
Using words in place of silence
So when they go crazy
it's at least something
that they're there at all.
sept 16, 09
A Walk
In the city you can smell the laundry
you can smell the trash
you can smell the purple basil
you can smell the balance cats.
In the city you can smell the crazy
you can smell the track
you can smell the sanitation steam
you can smell the linger leaves.
In the city you can smell the waiting
you can smell the go
you can smell the homeless river
you can smell the warning snow.
In the city you can smell the children
you can smell the scrap
you can smell the argue stoops
you can smell the eye contact.
aug 28 09
you can smell the trash
you can smell the purple basil
you can smell the balance cats.
In the city you can smell the crazy
you can smell the track
you can smell the sanitation steam
you can smell the linger leaves.
In the city you can smell the waiting
you can smell the go
you can smell the homeless river
you can smell the warning snow.
In the city you can smell the children
you can smell the scrap
you can smell the argue stoops
you can smell the eye contact.
aug 28 09
Thank You for Your Childhood
Dear autumn,
you make even a clean kitchen
into a poem
and his white tee shirt
too old to read the writing
into a childhood morning
and even the baking of city streets
into afternoons of those
same childhood forests.
You make living today
into like never before.
aug 21 09
you make even a clean kitchen
into a poem
and his white tee shirt
too old to read the writing
into a childhood morning
and even the baking of city streets
into afternoons of those
same childhood forests.
You make living today
into like never before.
aug 21 09
Behind My Back
The clouds move over the first autumn sun
and I feel the season
move behind my back
a friendly shadow.
You always make me feel so unaware
I can only sing alto
to all your soaring.
aug 21, 09
and I feel the season
move behind my back
a friendly shadow.
You always make me feel so unaware
I can only sing alto
to all your soaring.
aug 21, 09
Sing to Me of Heaven
Sing to me of heaven
please don't
it hurts personally
as if I myself were going
or have been before
as if I myself miss the place
the city as open as the country.
Sing to me of heaven
I'll sit through it
and swallow knots
as if I myself have been there.
Aug 15, 09
please don't
it hurts personally
as if I myself were going
or have been before
as if I myself miss the place
the city as open as the country.
Sing to me of heaven
I'll sit through it
and swallow knots
as if I myself have been there.
Aug 15, 09
My Little Spriit
My little spirit throws a fit
because my willing limbs are not a dog's
my span not a buzzard's
my bones are not hollow
and my blood is not wind.
My flesh not, like itself, a fire.
My little spirit kicks at my ribs
topples and smashes what's behind my chest
rises and racks the windows.
My little prisoner
looks at its home at the ends of my fingers
and all its kingdom they cannot touch.
because my willing limbs are not a dog's
my span not a buzzard's
my bones are not hollow
and my blood is not wind.
My flesh not, like itself, a fire.
My little spirit kicks at my ribs
topples and smashes what's behind my chest
rises and racks the windows.
My little prisoner
looks at its home at the ends of my fingers
and all its kingdom they cannot touch.
Must Be
A pulse warms me to sleep
and I wonder whose it must be
A dream runs like wild rabbits
through the sleep
and I wonder who it might be
A ghost comes sometimes
folding paper around its words
reminding me I have an appointment
and I wonder what it must be.
I wonder about you
and who you must be.
Aug 1 09
and I wonder whose it must be
A dream runs like wild rabbits
through the sleep
and I wonder who it might be
A ghost comes sometimes
folding paper around its words
reminding me I have an appointment
and I wonder what it must be.
I wonder about you
and who you must be.
Aug 1 09
Spring Cracks
Spring cracks and stirs up its
everything
Draws me out
Older than I should be
Whiter in bone and soul
than the brittle hair
pulled skull-tight on the elderly.
Run harder and longer
to lose the corpse I've been
watching on its pillow by mine,
lose the hot, scar tools
I've changed myself with,
lose my mouth.
Summer stirs up its everything
for me to put my nose
into. Wetting my face.
I ignore its everything.
In fear of the points
of grass stalks
the hot of rocks.
I lie benign on top and
not inside the pandora of
the wild season.
Fall stirs up its everything
untacking the indiscriminate Summer
taking it down like muslin over a waiting work
It stirs up its cold
the reserved love its rocks and yellow grasses
its slender arms of still-warm tree blood
smell of.
It draws me out to work again
lie myself on the cool ground and
swell with the warm sky blood
to change into my wild
to do it reservedly
to roll my dreams on my tongue
and tell no one what I am stirring.
Winter stirs up its everything
the white alchohol of bare
sky, trees, rocks
uniformly ignoring my work
determinedly blind
unafraid of what I am becoming
behind its terrible back.
Aug 1 09
everything
Draws me out
Older than I should be
Whiter in bone and soul
than the brittle hair
pulled skull-tight on the elderly.
Run harder and longer
to lose the corpse I've been
watching on its pillow by mine,
lose the hot, scar tools
I've changed myself with,
lose my mouth.
Summer stirs up its everything
for me to put my nose
into. Wetting my face.
I ignore its everything.
In fear of the points
of grass stalks
the hot of rocks.
I lie benign on top and
not inside the pandora of
the wild season.
Fall stirs up its everything
untacking the indiscriminate Summer
taking it down like muslin over a waiting work
It stirs up its cold
the reserved love its rocks and yellow grasses
its slender arms of still-warm tree blood
smell of.
It draws me out to work again
lie myself on the cool ground and
swell with the warm sky blood
to change into my wild
to do it reservedly
to roll my dreams on my tongue
and tell no one what I am stirring.
Winter stirs up its everything
the white alchohol of bare
sky, trees, rocks
uniformly ignoring my work
determinedly blind
unafraid of what I am becoming
behind its terrible back.
Aug 1 09
Ghosts
If I think of the way my hand stretches over
space as if it were itself my ghost,
the sun finally rises behind the cloud bank.
Hands like mine want to span so much farther than
the next hand, folded paper, water
And I lose them as they break and wash away
into something they're not.
July 29 09
space as if it were itself my ghost,
the sun finally rises behind the cloud bank.
Hands like mine want to span so much farther than
the next hand, folded paper, water
And I lose them as they break and wash away
into something they're not.
July 29 09
The Difference
Nothingness is not darkness
Even that can hold and be held
Can be walked through and smelled
Its "ness" rolls into open mouths
and opened eyes.
The darkness can be understood
In its values: Seen unseen unseeable
Clearer than Brilliance-studded light
that offers values insincerely:
see see see
When there's so much originally belonging
to shadow and deeper than shadow: spirit.
Even that can hold and be held
Can be walked through and smelled
Its "ness" rolls into open mouths
and opened eyes.
The darkness can be understood
In its values: Seen unseen unseeable
Clearer than Brilliance-studded light
that offers values insincerely:
see see see
When there's so much originally belonging
to shadow and deeper than shadow: spirit.
Act of Worship
I don't believe in the Holy Spirit
In your still birds
who with me are always respectful
of prayer.
We are not seen or heard
as you pray rain
all morning starting with
my unbelief.
I don't believe you exist
or that you draw us out to watch
you pour prayer,
that I can't help stand here in it,
that this is the only way to blur
the lines of skin and spirit,
that I want your rain.
I don't believe you fill me
and make my throat ache
afraid I'll never stop if
you begin like this.
But I'll open my mouth
This is my deed, add the belief,
to swallow your prayer
open my mouth
to your breath
the Holy Communion.
In your still birds
who with me are always respectful
of prayer.
We are not seen or heard
as you pray rain
all morning starting with
my unbelief.
I don't believe you exist
or that you draw us out to watch
you pour prayer,
that I can't help stand here in it,
that this is the only way to blur
the lines of skin and spirit,
that I want your rain.
I don't believe you fill me
and make my throat ache
afraid I'll never stop if
you begin like this.
But I'll open my mouth
This is my deed, add the belief,
to swallow your prayer
open my mouth
to your breath
the Holy Communion.
Exhaust
The things we break in our hands
we do after we part
so you won't see the mess we make
of ourselves
so you won't clean it up for us so quickly
and make us laugh.
I'll only love you in the night
when you're not yourself
but you become so self-conscious
and I dissapear with you
lost
finally holding no conversation.
An old meaningless city street
is all that runs through my heart
pushing exhaustion to its place
Later
My most dear and meaningful thoughts
are my most useless
and they hover in that street
like exhaust.
we do after we part
so you won't see the mess we make
of ourselves
so you won't clean it up for us so quickly
and make us laugh.
I'll only love you in the night
when you're not yourself
but you become so self-conscious
and I dissapear with you
lost
finally holding no conversation.
An old meaningless city street
is all that runs through my heart
pushing exhaustion to its place
Later
My most dear and meaningful thoughts
are my most useless
and they hover in that street
like exhaust.
This is another list poem: What Takes Longer Than Thirty Minutes
Drinking American black coffee.
the rain to stop.
to forget gravity and its new strength.
memorizing words.
listing apologies and the reasons
for not saying them.
enough time to hold broken pieces
kept stacked like scrap
pottery until I found they were really
bits of unlined paper
blown easily in the trail
of trains planes and automobiles.
the rain to stop.
to forget gravity and its new strength.
memorizing words.
listing apologies and the reasons
for not saying them.
enough time to hold broken pieces
kept stacked like scrap
pottery until I found they were really
bits of unlined paper
blown easily in the trail
of trains planes and automobiles.
Replacing the Horizon Line
Want sky
don't belong there
can't keep up
can't stay
and can't stand
the strangeness of space.
Must keep falling and rising
people mountain people sea
falling and rising
until the sky finally crashes
and we can be together
in the space the horizon line used to fill.
june 28 09
don't belong there
can't keep up
can't stay
and can't stand
the strangeness of space.
Must keep falling and rising
people mountain people sea
falling and rising
until the sky finally crashes
and we can be together
in the space the horizon line used to fill.
june 28 09
Last City
You won't stretch me over your machine, City
I won't care for those things in bags
I won't care for the things I tuck in books
or even the things I find there.
There is too much space between bodies
to be sick over the space left by lost things.
And the weight that fills
my body like saltwater, heavy ocean saltwater
can stand your schemes, City,
of untruth.
6 28 09
I won't care for those things in bags
I won't care for the things I tuck in books
or even the things I find there.
There is too much space between bodies
to be sick over the space left by lost things.
And the weight that fills
my body like saltwater, heavy ocean saltwater
can stand your schemes, City,
of untruth.
6 28 09
Sino Coffee
Coffee should always taste this poisonous
and the days should too
then I could take the smallest slowest sips
with some breaths in between
low breaths that barely make it past my teeth
little pains so rich in their tinyness
and I won't forget to love
even the bitterness.
June 28 09
and the days should too
then I could take the smallest slowest sips
with some breaths in between
low breaths that barely make it past my teeth
little pains so rich in their tinyness
and I won't forget to love
even the bitterness.
June 28 09
June Bugs
June bugs bump against the glow of your thighs
Blue filaments buzzing under white glass skin
In the dark they are long low florescents
barely making it brighter
And I wish you'd open your matching eyes.
June 21
Blue filaments buzzing under white glass skin
In the dark they are long low florescents
barely making it brighter
And I wish you'd open your matching eyes.
June 21
Stones of Spring
We lean against the stones of Spring
Great grey rocks, sunwarmed of any shadow
Ebenezers that eternity has come this far
and we've kept apace.
And in Autumn we'll find black stones
saturated with cold
our skin will drink from them
like Moses' desert rock.
May 28, 09
Great grey rocks, sunwarmed of any shadow
Ebenezers that eternity has come this far
and we've kept apace.
And in Autumn we'll find black stones
saturated with cold
our skin will drink from them
like Moses' desert rock.
May 28, 09
Lipstick
The wax of lipstick has sunk in
Pink elegant a woman again
Over boyshirt over bluejeans over boy company
The lipstick stripes bright and pink
"I like your lips"
Bite to see
What's changed between peach and pink
June 3, 09
Pink elegant a woman again
Over boyshirt over bluejeans over boy company
The lipstick stripes bright and pink
"I like your lips"
Bite to see
What's changed between peach and pink
June 3, 09
The Gym Trees
The gymnast is in the tree
forgetting elbows and knees
are made with bone and skin
not just shapes good for
wrapping around
limb in limb
shimmying leaves.
May 27 09
forgetting elbows and knees
are made with bone and skin
not just shapes good for
wrapping around
limb in limb
shimmying leaves.
May 27 09
Golden
You're golden
You glow
You glint in your glory
You think
and don't catch yourself
You think
and don't care
Your eyes think
and swerve
and bend the gold
golden light
on its way out.
May 27, 09
You glow
You glint in your glory
You think
and don't catch yourself
You think
and don't care
Your eyes think
and swerve
and bend the gold
golden light
on its way out.
May 27, 09
Small Measures
The things in bottles that swim
the length of my body
are shorter than my arm
And the spirit that rises off my breath
is even smaller.
My life is thinner than my shadow
and my dreams even thinner.
The love that fills my hands
is weaker than my sleep
and the strength to hand it to you
weaker.
May 12, 09
the length of my body
are shorter than my arm
And the spirit that rises off my breath
is even smaller.
My life is thinner than my shadow
and my dreams even thinner.
The love that fills my hands
is weaker than my sleep
and the strength to hand it to you
weaker.
May 12, 09
Naming
The children are not to be cared about
nor are the dying
the hopeless
the slaves of others
the spaces of darkness
in mouths
in hands
in roads
in homes
between bodies
They are to be known
and named.
May 12, 09
nor are the dying
the hopeless
the slaves of others
the spaces of darkness
in mouths
in hands
in roads
in homes
between bodies
They are to be known
and named.
May 12, 09
The White and I
It's the first time I've painted over my name
Covering this frame in my manipulated dream
was easier
even with eyes closed
than this new white
It wants to rake and bald
The white and I hold arms
and don't question the nature of our relationship
It was clear with the colors and lines
I drew, it came
Now who is going or coming
disappearing or returning
is uncertain and unimportant
The river does not stop catching rain
just because it's full
It swells indiscriminately
sending and being sent
on.
May 12, 09
Covering this frame in my manipulated dream
was easier
even with eyes closed
than this new white
It wants to rake and bald
The white and I hold arms
and don't question the nature of our relationship
It was clear with the colors and lines
I drew, it came
Now who is going or coming
disappearing or returning
is uncertain and unimportant
The river does not stop catching rain
just because it's full
It swells indiscriminately
sending and being sent
on.
May 12, 09
Tangle
Ankles tangle
Mouths and their words tangle
The past and the dreams about it
tangle
Now and now on tangle
Love and all its branches
tangle.
There's nothing but to sleep like this
nothing but to say nothing
in all the trust it takes to
keep silent.
may 12, 09
Mouths and their words tangle
The past and the dreams about it
tangle
Now and now on tangle
Love and all its branches
tangle.
There's nothing but to sleep like this
nothing but to say nothing
in all the trust it takes to
keep silent.
may 12, 09
My Weight
If I was as light as that top limb
I'd move when you do
leaping at your passing
Why have you given me the weight
of a moon with its broad orbit
I long to return with the rain
reversing its fall
I long for you to let me move
into you.
may 7, 09
I'd move when you do
leaping at your passing
Why have you given me the weight
of a moon with its broad orbit
I long to return with the rain
reversing its fall
I long for you to let me move
into you.
may 7, 09
Waiting Out Truth
I want to see it when the first cloud lets go
I want to have it memorized before I write one word
truth tries to shake me, wanting to be left alone
to happen in secret
It sends the ants in a storm underfoot
but I don't leave the side
of the heavy striped sky
It sends the day's plans, its time
but I only watch the mosquitoes clear out of the way
I will wait for you, truth
I know you plan to fall here,
out of the way
as we run for cover of roofs
But the Lord has said
wherever I turn, he will whisper your whereabouts
And I will even enjoy waiting on you
as the moss enjoys itself in the wintertime.
may 7, 09
I want to have it memorized before I write one word
truth tries to shake me, wanting to be left alone
to happen in secret
It sends the ants in a storm underfoot
but I don't leave the side
of the heavy striped sky
It sends the day's plans, its time
but I only watch the mosquitoes clear out of the way
I will wait for you, truth
I know you plan to fall here,
out of the way
as we run for cover of roofs
But the Lord has said
wherever I turn, he will whisper your whereabouts
And I will even enjoy waiting on you
as the moss enjoys itself in the wintertime.
may 7, 09
Why We Have Arms
You know it's a butterfly
because it moves nothing else
though its black wings beat wildly
under the green shadows
they are the only things sobbing
Because they are our ghosts
flying just out of reach to show us
we have eternity to be ourselves
beating black wings against shadows
The life without wings is for holding
other warm, wingless bodies.
May 7, 09
because it moves nothing else
though its black wings beat wildly
under the green shadows
they are the only things sobbing
Because they are our ghosts
flying just out of reach to show us
we have eternity to be ourselves
beating black wings against shadows
The life without wings is for holding
other warm, wingless bodies.
May 7, 09
Trees Have
The trees can't wait for the sun
they don't
They climb the exiled hills
and hug their slopes
The can hold their heads so high
there's no one to look
to see
if they're missing limbs
or faces
They don't wait for the world to descend
in concrete or its mirrors
Their roots move the earth
take it with them
They don't need a face to save
or lose on the way
They have roots that move
the earth around them.
May 7 09
they don't
They climb the exiled hills
and hug their slopes
The can hold their heads so high
there's no one to look
to see
if they're missing limbs
or faces
They don't wait for the world to descend
in concrete or its mirrors
Their roots move the earth
take it with them
They don't need a face to save
or lose on the way
They have roots that move
the earth around them.
May 7 09
Washed Them White as Snow
I will not tell you about everything
about how he's gone crazy
and we all had a hand in it.
We didn't.
We washed them instead
long before
long before the angry crowd asked us to
We washed them white as snow
in our own blood
spilling from our missing ears.
We didn't know.
We took them off
When he said those who have ears
we took them off ourselves
let them hear
and heard be washed in the blood of selfrighteousness
be washed by selfishness
by self.
And what is the blood of the lamb?
wash yourself of him
Who is the brother you can see?
wash yourself of him
Where is the God you cannot?
wash yourself of him.
We never had a hand in it.
may 7, 09
about how he's gone crazy
and we all had a hand in it.
We didn't.
We washed them instead
long before
long before the angry crowd asked us to
We washed them white as snow
in our own blood
spilling from our missing ears.
We didn't know.
We took them off
When he said those who have ears
we took them off ourselves
let them hear
and heard be washed in the blood of selfrighteousness
be washed by selfishness
by self.
And what is the blood of the lamb?
wash yourself of him
Who is the brother you can see?
wash yourself of him
Where is the God you cannot?
wash yourself of him.
We never had a hand in it.
may 7, 09
Trying to Pray with You
I hold my breath
like walking through their cigarette trail
like walking through their clothes too lived in
just like you do through those prayers
trying to live and breathe air
crowded over with habit.
may 7, 09
like walking through their cigarette trail
like walking through their clothes too lived in
just like you do through those prayers
trying to live and breathe air
crowded over with habit.
may 7, 09
In Here
In here, behind the door
there is only one alive
only one system of blood and breath
And she is tired
of knowing herself
of loving herself
of seeing herself
only
and not being.
May 7, 09
there is only one alive
only one system of blood and breath
And she is tired
of knowing herself
of loving herself
of seeing herself
only
and not being.
May 7, 09
The Glory Boy: a Poem for Children, for You
The Glory Boy jumped over the fence
using his hands
He didn't know he was flying
You never know things you can do
when you just do them.
Glory Boy stood at the top of the tree
thinking about the neighborhood
of lego houses
not thinking about how he got
on top of that tree.
Glory Boy built New Chicago on his floor
complete with red legos for Armour Square
and gold ones for Lincoln Square
and a grey bedsheet for the lake
it stretched all the way under the bed
and he never thought
about how a boy could make a new place
like that.
The Glory Boy dreamed and dreamed
blueprints, footprints, and picture books
of tomorrow.
May 5, 09
using his hands
He didn't know he was flying
You never know things you can do
when you just do them.
Glory Boy stood at the top of the tree
thinking about the neighborhood
of lego houses
not thinking about how he got
on top of that tree.
Glory Boy built New Chicago on his floor
complete with red legos for Armour Square
and gold ones for Lincoln Square
and a grey bedsheet for the lake
it stretched all the way under the bed
and he never thought
about how a boy could make a new place
like that.
The Glory Boy dreamed and dreamed
blueprints, footprints, and picture books
of tomorrow.
May 5, 09
Count Me
Do you count me when you count the stars?
Do you feel my pulse when you lie still and silent?
Do you hear me run my hands in my hair when you walk through leaves?
Do you count me when you count days?
Do you feel my weary wildness behind your eyes when you close them?
Do you hold my hands in an effortless dance?
Do you count me when you count pages?
Do you read the truth to me as they turn?
Do you ask me the questions I've asked you?
Do you count me when you count the clouds?
May 5, 09
Do you feel my pulse when you lie still and silent?
Do you hear me run my hands in my hair when you walk through leaves?
Do you count me when you count days?
Do you feel my weary wildness behind your eyes when you close them?
Do you hold my hands in an effortless dance?
Do you count me when you count pages?
Do you read the truth to me as they turn?
Do you ask me the questions I've asked you?
Do you count me when you count the clouds?
May 5, 09
Braille Hands
The loveliness of your hands
asking the same questions
that They wail in cacophonous choruses
draws me
just me without my answers or ideas
into that lingering season.
May 2, 09
asking the same questions
that They wail in cacophonous choruses
draws me
just me without my answers or ideas
into that lingering season.
May 2, 09
Ghosting
Two winter days ghost about
They come after their bodies in my pockets
I roll them through my fingers
cool bright stones
let them out
and dig shallow spring graves
in the soft mud by the road.
My heel gives last rites
and the ghosts are forced Heavenward.
May 2, 09
They come after their bodies in my pockets
I roll them through my fingers
cool bright stones
let them out
and dig shallow spring graves
in the soft mud by the road.
My heel gives last rites
and the ghosts are forced Heavenward.
May 2, 09
A Possessed Poem
It's not enough to
cross through wrong words.
They need boxes drawn around them
to stop the shattered ink
to make it dry in the lines
and chase no other poems
into the lake like swine.
Ap 24, 09
cross through wrong words.
They need boxes drawn around them
to stop the shattered ink
to make it dry in the lines
and chase no other poems
into the lake like swine.
Ap 24, 09
To Today
Your sister day
it was the same
in another colour.
I came from the sun dreams
ready for silence to hum,
Not to care that time and space
stretch like a summer tree
and the words I hang my days on
turn out to be ants going up
limb to leaf.
They know your sister day -
they lined up in sentences under her silence
and marched all the way here
to see what colour you'd be.
Ap 24, 09
it was the same
in another colour.
I came from the sun dreams
ready for silence to hum,
Not to care that time and space
stretch like a summer tree
and the words I hang my days on
turn out to be ants going up
limb to leaf.
They know your sister day -
they lined up in sentences under her silence
and marched all the way here
to see what colour you'd be.
Ap 24, 09
The River Flys
What do I want to say?
The river is in the sky.
It hangs around our ears
It's been swimming with the
Milky Way all night
Forgetting us
Remembering God.
The river settles down
like a summer bedsheet
shaken up for straightening
but it's floating right
around my ears, no lower.
What do I want to say?
The river talks God in my ears
I'm forgetting myself.
ap. 23. 09
The river is in the sky.
It hangs around our ears
It's been swimming with the
Milky Way all night
Forgetting us
Remembering God.
The river settles down
like a summer bedsheet
shaken up for straightening
but it's floating right
around my ears, no lower.
What do I want to say?
The river talks God in my ears
I'm forgetting myself.
ap. 23. 09
Running with Patience
It takes patience to keep
trying to sleep after each dream in the night
and it takes it to stop trying
when the darkness finally gives up.
It takes patience to look at
the pattern in your own eyes
and it takes it to lose the weight
that has nothing to do with your body.
It takes patience to run,
to make it,
until, without knowing you're not running -
it takes nothing from you to fly like that.
ap 23, 09
trying to sleep after each dream in the night
and it takes it to stop trying
when the darkness finally gives up.
It takes patience to look at
the pattern in your own eyes
and it takes it to lose the weight
that has nothing to do with your body.
It takes patience to run,
to make it,
until, without knowing you're not running -
it takes nothing from you to fly like that.
ap 23, 09
Not a Difference
It won't matter to rest this black pen here
on my shirt to dry
to let it deepen the black there
a colour I can
pull up to my chin
to let it absorb words
not shot through and white with holes
not making shadows on my skin.
Apr 2, 09
on my shirt to dry
to let it deepen the black there
a colour I can
pull up to my chin
to let it absorb words
not shot through and white with holes
not making shadows on my skin.
Apr 2, 09
At the Windowsill
The sky stayed still. It stayed out late
at my window sill. It stayed quiet
thinking, lying
quite still,
quite still.
apr 2, 09
at my window sill. It stayed quiet
thinking, lying
quite still,
quite still.
apr 2, 09
You're the Hollow Bones
If you're the feathers,
then you're the hollow bones
I can't work or grow
And you'll fly around my house
all alone
waiting for me to come.
Apr 2, 2009
then you're the hollow bones
I can't work or grow
And you'll fly around my house
all alone
waiting for me to come.
Apr 2, 2009
Cold Again
No body at the washing stoop
the river turns cold, still.
The tree branches jump and tremble
as if filled with birds
but its the wind
not willing to blow
just wanting to bend something.
The river doesn't listen, doesn't move,
doesn't reply.
Apr 2, 2009
the river turns cold, still.
The tree branches jump and tremble
as if filled with birds
but its the wind
not willing to blow
just wanting to bend something.
The river doesn't listen, doesn't move,
doesn't reply.
Apr 2, 2009
Juice and Red
What is blood, but juice
to make us round, not flat?
What is red, but the color
opposite of just air, just water?
Our mouths open to make way
for air and water
but my blood burns
reaching for yours.
3, 29, 09
to make us round, not flat?
What is red, but the color
opposite of just air, just water?
Our mouths open to make way
for air and water
but my blood burns
reaching for yours.
3, 29, 09
Other Than Blood
We love like fish
that need blood
to flow against their blood.
Desperation to know
another smooth body
replaces responsibility
to fill our own skin
with other than blood.
3, 29, 09
that need blood
to flow against their blood.
Desperation to know
another smooth body
replaces responsibility
to fill our own skin
with other than blood.
3, 29, 09
Birds in the Bamboo
Birds in the bamboo
Spring breaks a sweat
it comes out in neon beads
that run in all directions
across the days.
3, 21, 09
Spring breaks a sweat
it comes out in neon beads
that run in all directions
across the days.
3, 21, 09
Losing the Chair
He took that junk chair apart
like it was the end of time
And all the time the maker took to
fasten it together
And all the time the owners took to
wear it worthless
was unraveled in his hatchet.
mar 18.09
like it was the end of time
And all the time the maker took to
fasten it together
And all the time the owners took to
wear it worthless
was unraveled in his hatchet.
mar 18.09
The Brave Season
The year has courage
rising after such a beating
pushing up from the ground
to roll on its back
without grimace for its unkempt bones
but at least a few teeth shine
to be alive.
Again and again it drops in the dirt
loses blood
feels its spirit sliding skinwards
lies in state - just breathing
just in just out.
And somehow, later
sometime after we've stopped watching, wanting
it forgives itself and gets up to live.
mar 18, 09
rising after such a beating
pushing up from the ground
to roll on its back
without grimace for its unkempt bones
but at least a few teeth shine
to be alive.
Again and again it drops in the dirt
loses blood
feels its spirit sliding skinwards
lies in state - just breathing
just in just out.
And somehow, later
sometime after we've stopped watching, wanting
it forgives itself and gets up to live.
mar 18, 09
What They Call Weeds
The birds are all legs now
we kick off our blankets
cats hug
and collapse on the spot
things inside come outside
shiver
But for no one will we put
our coats back on.
And I won't be pulling
what they call weeds.
mar 18, 09
we kick off our blankets
cats hug
and collapse on the spot
things inside come outside
shiver
But for no one will we put
our coats back on.
And I won't be pulling
what they call weeds.
mar 18, 09
Answering the Door
Everybody left
and the world felt lighter
the earth was a rising balloon
I could not hold down alone
I realized you had only gotten out of bed
leaving a gap in the blankets.
But I could feel nothing replacing
blood all through my body.
mar 18, 09
and the world felt lighter
the earth was a rising balloon
I could not hold down alone
I realized you had only gotten out of bed
leaving a gap in the blankets.
But I could feel nothing replacing
blood all through my body.
mar 18, 09
The Junk Collectors
The neighbors are junk collectors
Their house is a pile
Every few days, they pitchfork
one type of junk out through a hole
in the wall or the rooftop or the door
It lands skittle skitter
in their dirt alley.
Then one of them,
I never seem to recognize the same
one twice. Maybe there are twenty people
living in the pile. Maybe junk collectors
become as unique as their wares and never look
the same after spending the night flattened.
One of them slowly stacks the junk,
as best it can be stacked
Smashes it with a foot,
as best it can be smashed.
And takes the good part of a sunny hour
tying purposeful, webbed knots around
the whole fag of likeminded nonesense.
I try to watch, but it's
like a butterfly coming out at last
taking its difficult time.
The last thing to see
is often a woman, often an old woman
plodding toward the edge of her life
with the junk piled on her back
high over her shoulders
a hang glider that would catch
the wind when she leaps.
mar 17, 09
Their house is a pile
Every few days, they pitchfork
one type of junk out through a hole
in the wall or the rooftop or the door
It lands skittle skitter
in their dirt alley.
Then one of them,
I never seem to recognize the same
one twice. Maybe there are twenty people
living in the pile. Maybe junk collectors
become as unique as their wares and never look
the same after spending the night flattened.
One of them slowly stacks the junk,
as best it can be stacked
Smashes it with a foot,
as best it can be smashed.
And takes the good part of a sunny hour
tying purposeful, webbed knots around
the whole fag of likeminded nonesense.
I try to watch, but it's
like a butterfly coming out at last
taking its difficult time.
The last thing to see
is often a woman, often an old woman
plodding toward the edge of her life
with the junk piled on her back
high over her shoulders
a hang glider that would catch
the wind when she leaps.
mar 17, 09
How Animals are Made
I do not scramble up akin to you.
I once dreamed what walking would
feel like if it were bounding
I woke up convinced I could feel inside your limbs.
I pick and pry my way up into the
nests of the world
And you chide me for stumbling when I
finally soar back down.
i can only say
That's how we animals are made
You with some spare toes
I with some wings.
mar 17, 09
I once dreamed what walking would
feel like if it were bounding
I woke up convinced I could feel inside your limbs.
I pick and pry my way up into the
nests of the world
And you chide me for stumbling when I
finally soar back down.
i can only say
That's how we animals are made
You with some spare toes
I with some wings.
mar 17, 09
A Day Watching from 4 Stories
Men with spirit minds live behind the city
Babies row the open river
White cats slide through green gardens
Women with washboard voices rise behind our ears
They use an umbrella like a small sky
She hammers clothes like a folk chant
They lick cigarettes like finished plates
Their half grown eyes never see too far
He jabs his motorbike in the ribs
The day falls gently off its axis
mar 17, 09
Babies row the open river
White cats slide through green gardens
Women with washboard voices rise behind our ears
They use an umbrella like a small sky
She hammers clothes like a folk chant
They lick cigarettes like finished plates
Their half grown eyes never see too far
He jabs his motorbike in the ribs
The day falls gently off its axis
mar 17, 09
The Badlands
The badlands do not address anyone
but the sky.
And their days together
are either too intimate to detect the
sweet nothings passing there
Or too formal for anything
louder than the tacit reverence
held between them.
The Rocks hold nothing, no one.
You could fall from the earth there
or jump.
The badlands and sky are not concerned,
not with you.
They are only concerned with becoming
denser and harder versions of themselves.
It's a good place to become yourself
without the normal busybodying of all the world.
mar 17, 09
but the sky.
And their days together
are either too intimate to detect the
sweet nothings passing there
Or too formal for anything
louder than the tacit reverence
held between them.
The Rocks hold nothing, no one.
You could fall from the earth there
or jump.
The badlands and sky are not concerned,
not with you.
They are only concerned with becoming
denser and harder versions of themselves.
It's a good place to become yourself
without the normal busybodying of all the world.
mar 17, 09
Akin
Just like I don't see the powerlines
that would remind me I am not a lilliputian.
Just like i feel crushed and left whole enough to
feel it when I read a grown-up book
And crushed but dissolved
when I finish one for children.
Just like I can't stand to be laughed at
or looked at, sometimes.
Just like I choke and cough on my poetry
as if it were bronchial phlegm
And shred my stories to streamers
before I get a chance to write them.
Just like I eat raw eggs and roll out under raw sun
and scratch until spots of my skin also sting pink.
Just like the reason I don't want to regret anything
is because sometimes I regret everything.
Just like I can forgive the man his cigarette
because his holding his baby alone in a rowboat.
Just like all this I know that things will be written
by me. And I don't see where I come in in my own life
But we three are there - the time, the words, and I.
mar 17, 09
that would remind me I am not a lilliputian.
Just like i feel crushed and left whole enough to
feel it when I read a grown-up book
And crushed but dissolved
when I finish one for children.
Just like I can't stand to be laughed at
or looked at, sometimes.
Just like I choke and cough on my poetry
as if it were bronchial phlegm
And shred my stories to streamers
before I get a chance to write them.
Just like I eat raw eggs and roll out under raw sun
and scratch until spots of my skin also sting pink.
Just like the reason I don't want to regret anything
is because sometimes I regret everything.
Just like I can forgive the man his cigarette
because his holding his baby alone in a rowboat.
Just like all this I know that things will be written
by me. And I don't see where I come in in my own life
But we three are there - the time, the words, and I.
mar 17, 09
Techno and Roosters
There's the off beat of
techno and roosters,
the old man climbing a ladder
to hang his blanket on a line.
He told me, I want you to be more careful,
don't flail off from up there,
had I done that?
It seemed obvious.
He asked me to be more aware of myself.
"but it's myself who's not aware of me!"
I thought.
how childish.
I tried stepping, controlling my legs
I bounced and caught myself
with my head against a window frame.
He didn't have to ask see?
I didn't say I did.
I nodded, even after he left, I was
still there nodding,
until I noticed my neck bobbed in time
with the techno and roosters.
I checked for the man. He was down safely.
The blanket was up.
mar 17, 09
techno and roosters,
the old man climbing a ladder
to hang his blanket on a line.
He told me, I want you to be more careful,
don't flail off from up there,
had I done that?
It seemed obvious.
He asked me to be more aware of myself.
"but it's myself who's not aware of me!"
I thought.
how childish.
I tried stepping, controlling my legs
I bounced and caught myself
with my head against a window frame.
He didn't have to ask see?
I didn't say I did.
I nodded, even after he left, I was
still there nodding,
until I noticed my neck bobbed in time
with the techno and roosters.
I checked for the man. He was down safely.
The blanket was up.
mar 17, 09
Stories
The most important story is
how the story turned itself out
How the light asked the dark
to join it, to show the way to
never never never.
And when the story got there
that part makes you want to
blame stories for all the lies
we ever told and believed.
But the story doesn't end
there.
or anywhere.
In fact it grows and opens
like a tree of flame
into
ever ever ever.
mar 8, 09
how the story turned itself out
How the light asked the dark
to join it, to show the way to
never never never.
And when the story got there
that part makes you want to
blame stories for all the lies
we ever told and believed.
But the story doesn't end
there.
or anywhere.
In fact it grows and opens
like a tree of flame
into
ever ever ever.
mar 8, 09
Everything-Made
The God who did it first,
who lived and made and forgave,
cracked the universe like an egg
and poured the earth out,
we, all sticking, embryonic,
Opened the whites of our eyes
and filled them with his every thing.
Why do we close them
wringing them of clear soul,
sorry sorry sorry
for not being anything?
When the God who did it first,
who lived and made and forgave
every thing
then made us the same.
mar 8, 09
who lived and made and forgave,
cracked the universe like an egg
and poured the earth out,
we, all sticking, embryonic,
Opened the whites of our eyes
and filled them with his every thing.
Why do we close them
wringing them of clear soul,
sorry sorry sorry
for not being anything?
When the God who did it first,
who lived and made and forgave
every thing
then made us the same.
mar 8, 09
What I Remember of My Dreams
I often dream and often wake
and sometimes remember
the birthday gifts my
friends gave me at midnight
because they were ready for my birthday.
And gave me a baby kitten
because they believed I could love it
and that I wouldn't
step on it and not even care.
I sometimes remember
how I carried that kitten
near my neck all night
until morning,
knowing it's my birthday
knowing I can love it
knowing they gave me gifts at midnight
and waking hours too early for dawn.
mar 8, 09
and sometimes remember
the birthday gifts my
friends gave me at midnight
because they were ready for my birthday.
And gave me a baby kitten
because they believed I could love it
and that I wouldn't
step on it and not even care.
I sometimes remember
how I carried that kitten
near my neck all night
until morning,
knowing it's my birthday
knowing I can love it
knowing they gave me gifts at midnight
and waking hours too early for dawn.
mar 8, 09
The Point Is
It ended, "That's just not the point."
and we both hoped there was one.
Perhaps we'd search the nights for it
search loneliness and love
search words that don't work
and lines that haunt
like people we never quite loved.
And we hope, we still hope,
it's already there
in her heart, in the air around her ears
re-writing the end.
mar 8, 09
and we both hoped there was one.
Perhaps we'd search the nights for it
search loneliness and love
search words that don't work
and lines that haunt
like people we never quite loved.
And we hope, we still hope,
it's already there
in her heart, in the air around her ears
re-writing the end.
mar 8, 09
The Density of Coffee
The density of coffee
yesterday, sludge a centimeter deep
today, clear as clouds
washes the previous bitter down
and stands in for something like hope
yesterday, ankle deep
today, a sun as weak as spring in March.
mar 8, 09
yesterday, sludge a centimeter deep
today, clear as clouds
washes the previous bitter down
and stands in for something like hope
yesterday, ankle deep
today, a sun as weak as spring in March.
mar 8, 09
The Coasts
The coasts call
pretending they are not far.
They let their voices carry
inland inland in.
Didn't I know
I should or shouldn't have
carved my secret name
in their sands,
letting it sift out in the tide,
without understanding
(didn't I know?)
they'd always remember
that name
and never let it go
as long as wind still fills the air?
mar 12, 09
pretending they are not far.
They let their voices carry
inland inland in.
Didn't I know
I should or shouldn't have
carved my secret name
in their sands,
letting it sift out in the tide,
without understanding
(didn't I know?)
they'd always remember
that name
and never let it go
as long as wind still fills the air?
mar 12, 09
Sames
We are the same
She said it and said it
So I made an amusing list of our disparity
I knew she hated it and
We are the same
she would keep saying
making me lose my easy footing
Words became rotten limbs
on the tree I climbed childishly.
If a thing is true inside
It will come only
after all the even though's.
But it was only what she wanted
to make true
and it was wounded by that
ambiguous word, "but"
All her truth was drained empty through that wound.
Mar 6, 09
She said it and said it
So I made an amusing list of our disparity
I knew she hated it and
We are the same
she would keep saying
making me lose my easy footing
Words became rotten limbs
on the tree I climbed childishly.
If a thing is true inside
It will come only
after all the even though's.
But it was only what she wanted
to make true
and it was wounded by that
ambiguous word, "but"
All her truth was drained empty through that wound.
Mar 6, 09
Our Hill Came Down
They took down our hill
the one I took you to everyday in my mind
behind my ears
or tucked up in my hair
took it down like a bad billboard
“God is Love (but he hates you)”
It's almost see through
The birds fly right through space
like there was no atmosphere
on our planet, our hill
Today is a day out of season
like when you refuse to sleep all night long
because you're not through being alive
It's like summer got in that mood
and broke into the moon
like a bad safety box
like ours that I pick with my nail file
holding birthday cash
some important looking cards
checks
I think I saw a school photo at the bottom
The moon holds other things
the time between us
the horizon between us
the space on the other side of our atmosphere
all the birds that have learned how to reach it.
March 10, 2009
the one I took you to everyday in my mind
behind my ears
or tucked up in my hair
took it down like a bad billboard
“God is Love (but he hates you)”
It's almost see through
The birds fly right through space
like there was no atmosphere
on our planet, our hill
Today is a day out of season
like when you refuse to sleep all night long
because you're not through being alive
It's like summer got in that mood
and broke into the moon
like a bad safety box
like ours that I pick with my nail file
holding birthday cash
some important looking cards
checks
I think I saw a school photo at the bottom
The moon holds other things
the time between us
the horizon between us
the space on the other side of our atmosphere
all the birds that have learned how to reach it.
March 10, 2009
The One Glass
There was one glass of beige wine left
That seemed appropriate
and one clean glass, the one with a curvy crack.
That did too.
I cuddled glass and wine to my mouth
we're the friends who understand one another
and only sit in silence
though there's much to exchange
there will never be the time to say it all
so why start
why not just feel our skin on each other's
And I promise I will drain slowly
and the glass and wine promise they will swim slowly.
March 10, 2009
That seemed appropriate
and one clean glass, the one with a curvy crack.
That did too.
I cuddled glass and wine to my mouth
we're the friends who understand one another
and only sit in silence
though there's much to exchange
there will never be the time to say it all
so why start
why not just feel our skin on each other's
And I promise I will drain slowly
and the glass and wine promise they will swim slowly.
March 10, 2009
Snare Drums
Skin tightens in my heart.
The taughtness channels a sharper riff
Bi dum Bi da Bi dum Bia da
I write back "I know you,"
so afraid I really have no capacity to fit those
words inside
A second heart
tightens against the rhythm of
my words
so afraid there was no one left to really say them
Bi dum Bi da Bi dum Bia da.
mar 5, 2009
The taughtness channels a sharper riff
Bi dum Bi da Bi dum Bia da
I write back "I know you,"
so afraid I really have no capacity to fit those
words inside
A second heart
tightens against the rhythm of
my words
so afraid there was no one left to really say them
Bi dum Bi da Bi dum Bia da.
mar 5, 2009
Doing Scales
The kids bike with violin girls slung on their backs
I draw fingers and bow around the belly of my cello man
And someone bangs ivory of conversation in the apartment below
trying out the pattern of a soul.
mar 5, 09
I draw fingers and bow around the belly of my cello man
And someone bangs ivory of conversation in the apartment below
trying out the pattern of a soul.
mar 5, 09
The Sweet on the Fire
I breathed barbecued brisket in deep
how perfect in a city
in a summer
Then I thought, human meat could smell
as perfect
no less appropriate
for a city
for a summer
How I know nothing
of terrible life
of terrible world
of terrible human
possibility
And only smell on the fire
that which is truly perfect.
mar 5, 2009
how perfect in a city
in a summer
Then I thought, human meat could smell
as perfect
no less appropriate
for a city
for a summer
How I know nothing
of terrible life
of terrible world
of terrible human
possibility
And only smell on the fire
that which is truly perfect.
mar 5, 2009
Dharma (or Demigods)
What a river in the shade
knows
that it must go on.
What children growing
up in the city know
that life is under conditions.
What every saint writer
prophet savior whole soul
and lover knows
that nothing can hurt you
unless you hold it to you.
And that whether
the sky is really
billboard paper
or not,
smacking holes in it to see
what the other side is like will only
tatter worlds.
Light is knowing without
doing and being without
knowing
And never never
an action word.
mar 5, 2009
knows
that it must go on.
What children growing
up in the city know
that life is under conditions.
What every saint writer
prophet savior whole soul
and lover knows
that nothing can hurt you
unless you hold it to you.
And that whether
the sky is really
billboard paper
or not,
smacking holes in it to see
what the other side is like will only
tatter worlds.
Light is knowing without
doing and being without
knowing
And never never
an action word.
mar 5, 2009
Kinds of Light
Call again, red heart;
see what colour responds.
It won't be this
blinding light
flickering with black speck static.
It will be a stumbling
glow
of spots of
colours
dizzy, bruised,
and coming up
from the bottom of something
that hurt.
feb 14, 2009
see what colour responds.
It won't be this
blinding light
flickering with black speck static.
It will be a stumbling
glow
of spots of
colours
dizzy, bruised,
and coming up
from the bottom of something
that hurt.
feb 14, 2009
Velveteen Rabbit
Boy with the velveteen ears
and a smile like the only light switch
in a stadium.
Boy with want arms
that take even what they are not aware of.
Big sturdy heart
with no leaks in the roof.
feb 14, 2009
and a smile like the only light switch
in a stadium.
Boy with want arms
that take even what they are not aware of.
Big sturdy heart
with no leaks in the roof.
feb 14, 2009
Blazon
Everybody wants
romantic hair dark
eyebrows
an unnoticeable nose
bony shoulders hands
with veins
a gently sloping torso
legs only used for
wrapping around the earth
and smooth feet.
feb 14, 2009
romantic hair dark
eyebrows
an unnoticeable nose
bony shoulders hands
with veins
a gently sloping torso
legs only used for
wrapping around the earth
and smooth feet.
feb 14, 2009
Hamlet
My face in a scarf
who am i who am i
she said "Hamlet's amusing,
so juvenile."
I breathe blue scarf
smelling my mother, my neck
blue linen from France.
where am i from
who am i, Hamlet,
who am i?
it becomes one word
a wrong direction
i suck warm dry scarf
against my teeth
smelling the hotel, smelling
America, smelling the humidity
here.
whoami?
here ((here) here).
feb 4, 09
who am i who am i
she said "Hamlet's amusing,
so juvenile."
I breathe blue scarf
smelling my mother, my neck
blue linen from France.
where am i from
who am i, Hamlet,
who am i?
it becomes one word
a wrong direction
i suck warm dry scarf
against my teeth
smelling the hotel, smelling
America, smelling the humidity
here.
whoami?
here ((here) here).
feb 4, 09
Leap Year Birthday
I'm not born
this year
I take the corporeal
shadow
into a corner to sit
nose in wall.
Last life
i took all wombs
and bloody sweet wet
and screaming joy
acute sharp joy
for granted, part of life
nibbled my own squeezy heart
like we eat doritos now
licking our fingers, licking the TV,
to the last crumb
till I finally tasted blood
mother, sweet zygote tapioca, birthday
birthday
birthday
birthday.
jan 14, 09
this year
I take the corporeal
shadow
into a corner to sit
nose in wall.
Last life
i took all wombs
and bloody sweet wet
and screaming joy
acute sharp joy
for granted, part of life
nibbled my own squeezy heart
like we eat doritos now
licking our fingers, licking the TV,
to the last crumb
till I finally tasted blood
mother, sweet zygote tapioca, birthday
birthday
birthday
birthday.
jan 14, 09
Suh Surreality
Suh surreality of waking
up side
down your back
wuh warm wind
unatural, welcome
down my shirt
unwelcome, natural
we luh love
i touch my lips
and pinch
suh surreality
flip switch.
jan 14, 09
up side
down your back
wuh warm wind
unatural, welcome
down my shirt
unwelcome, natural
we luh love
i touch my lips
and pinch
suh surreality
flip switch.
jan 14, 09
Gone gone gone
Gone gone gone
hair
lifted
lopped dropped
gone gone air
resting there
holding things in place
like brains
holding down
said feet and hands
lifting lopping dropping
heaven.
jan 14, 09
hair
lifted
lopped dropped
gone gone air
resting there
holding things in place
like brains
holding down
said feet and hands
lifting lopping dropping
heaven.
jan 14, 09
Mermaid Bones
Because it was a rush
of a trickle
a significant nothing
A screaming into the face
of a hole
breaking baby bones
that older would have liked,
wouldn't have minded,
might have smiled,
to crack
knowing new things will grow
in the gap
and old things are intact
but jelly bones
just bend and
their mermaid screams
sing.
jan 14, 09
of a trickle
a significant nothing
A screaming into the face
of a hole
breaking baby bones
that older would have liked,
wouldn't have minded,
might have smiled,
to crack
knowing new things will grow
in the gap
and old things are intact
but jelly bones
just bend and
their mermaid screams
sing.
jan 14, 09
The Reader
The reader doesn't want arms
how warm
around him.
The reader won't get wet if
it's not clear
to the bottom
and only his legs floating
clearly there.
The reader doesn't want to remember
who undressed him
who knew his button size
who's eyes
just his own
his iris diving deeper
into eternity, the noun,
that looks only like his soul.
jan 14, 09
how warm
around him.
The reader won't get wet if
it's not clear
to the bottom
and only his legs floating
clearly there.
The reader doesn't want to remember
who undressed him
who knew his button size
who's eyes
just his own
his iris diving deeper
into eternity, the noun,
that looks only like his soul.
jan 14, 09
Family Affairs
So frustrated with you, Nature, Time
name you names of others that translate
Mother Father
Brother Jesus
I believe in you as I believe my
sister is mine but
faith is more than unblind.
This family, mine
I know so, but don't understand
I love so, but can't hardly stand.
Jan 13, 09
name you names of others that translate
Mother Father
Brother Jesus
I believe in you as I believe my
sister is mine but
faith is more than unblind.
This family, mine
I know so, but don't understand
I love so, but can't hardly stand.
Jan 13, 09
My lady, My gentleman
Oh china, my lady
my gentleman
insanity
universe filled star
true
and honesty besides
Oh china, you teacher
you dumb ass
unknown or able
held completely
breathed deeply
you've filled the bottom of my lungs
oh me
oh me
oh me
oh me.
jan 13, 09
my gentleman
insanity
universe filled star
true
and honesty besides
Oh china, you teacher
you dumb ass
unknown or able
held completely
breathed deeply
you've filled the bottom of my lungs
oh me
oh me
oh me
oh me.
jan 13, 09
The Subtitles
The subtitles are a little
off
You say
"I love you" as I
say "what"
My face is all
expectation and gaping
when those words come
crashing down.
jan 13, 09
off
You say
"I love you" as I
say "what"
My face is all
expectation and gaping
when those words come
crashing down.
jan 13, 09
Vinegar and Kissing Sweets
let
so go
so open that kaleidoscope
of despair of wonder
both felt
welcomed same
no beggars, kings
places places
at the table
sit sipping vinegar and
kissing sweets.
jan 13, 09
so go
so open that kaleidoscope
of despair of wonder
both felt
welcomed same
no beggars, kings
places places
at the table
sit sipping vinegar and
kissing sweets.
jan 13, 09
What's Been Pouring
When falling into place
the smallest click
revealing a secret,
the sterling truth.
Melts paper boats
and the ones
and the one
riding.
Drown in river
that tastes more
like air than what's
been
pouring
into you.
jan 13, 09
the smallest click
revealing a secret,
the sterling truth.
Melts paper boats
and the ones
and the one
riding.
Drown in river
that tastes more
like air than what's
been
pouring
into you.
jan 13, 09
Chapped
In this gap in my skin
in my lip, the middle
is the space where
I grew up, a little.
When I lick it when I bite
When I breathe in hard
it stings
It's not healing, it's waiting
it's softening, hardening
I lick it and touch it
and smile and stretch it
wide open.
jan 13, 09
in my lip, the middle
is the space where
I grew up, a little.
When I lick it when I bite
When I breathe in hard
it stings
It's not healing, it's waiting
it's softening, hardening
I lick it and touch it
and smile and stretch it
wide open.
jan 13, 09
Breath Like
What did that god breath smell like when it
first sighed over my ear?
What did it taste like when I first woke up to
lick it from your everything lips?
Like a horse's mouth, clean with dry grass
like his hair that feels as smooth as skin
like a river with stones for a belly
and the silt flavoring it
And something warm
It smells like my shoulders tan, just barely wet.
Why does your breath smell like flesh?
And taste like cool air?
dec 30 , 08
first sighed over my ear?
What did it taste like when I first woke up to
lick it from your everything lips?
Like a horse's mouth, clean with dry grass
like his hair that feels as smooth as skin
like a river with stones for a belly
and the silt flavoring it
And something warm
It smells like my shoulders tan, just barely wet.
Why does your breath smell like flesh?
And taste like cool air?
dec 30 , 08
Shakily
What climbs up
in the trees
shakes there in its
joy
not fear
unsturdy muscles
only alarming
against the earth
where there are
no quivering wings
to lift you from them,
climbing.
1, 4, 09
in the trees
shakes there in its
joy
not fear
unsturdy muscles
only alarming
against the earth
where there are
no quivering wings
to lift you from them,
climbing.
1, 4, 09
How to Talk
Oh child,
you are
not a little girl anymore
in a little awe
but I just learned
to walk
behind you
a little whine
in my hand
pulling sideways
i just learned
something new
but not how
to talk
as you ask my empty mouth
"what"
as if the answer were even there,
a little further
down in my throat.
jan 4, 009
you are
not a little girl anymore
in a little awe
but I just learned
to walk
behind you
a little whine
in my hand
pulling sideways
i just learned
something new
but not how
to talk
as you ask my empty mouth
"what"
as if the answer were even there,
a little further
down in my throat.
jan 4, 009
May Here
This room feels more lived in now,
My mouth tastes more lived in
a bitter herb licked from the roof of my mouth.
That one warm breeze
surprising us and making us look in eyes for
the first time that day
forgetting what we were waiting for
just holding that touch in our mouths
and letting out what we didn't swallow.
Water heavy over rocks
suddenly
unable to be anywhere but on our knees.
jan 4, 09
My mouth tastes more lived in
a bitter herb licked from the roof of my mouth.
That one warm breeze
surprising us and making us look in eyes for
the first time that day
forgetting what we were waiting for
just holding that touch in our mouths
and letting out what we didn't swallow.
Water heavy over rocks
suddenly
unable to be anywhere but on our knees.
jan 4, 09
Every there
If I was as good as her
I'd write of God's heart
and how I see it every where
But I can only see you
no matter how many waves are drowning between us
You are all
and I do write of God's heart
and where I see it.
I mark a place on your skin with my breath
I must come back there some day
soon
and breathe in every second of you.
jan 4, 09
I'd write of God's heart
and how I see it every where
But I can only see you
no matter how many waves are drowning between us
You are all
and I do write of God's heart
and where I see it.
I mark a place on your skin with my breath
I must come back there some day
soon
and breathe in every second of you.
jan 4, 09
Airport Dance
Us laden
turtles shifting shells
from shoulder blade to
shoulder
one foot to other
but still trying our
dancing
an international folk dance
turn in, step forward
turn out, pause
step back, forward
face the front
face the side
face the way you came
bow, pick up all your handles
and clap your
feet into those ahead of you.
dec 30, 08
turtles shifting shells
from shoulder blade to
shoulder
one foot to other
but still trying our
dancing
an international folk dance
turn in, step forward
turn out, pause
step back, forward
face the front
face the side
face the way you came
bow, pick up all your handles
and clap your
feet into those ahead of you.
dec 30, 08
Fast
A fast
from socks and schedule
avoiding what I don't know about
dont want
don't say so to
This fast
will be a taffy machine
turning happily my love on the rack.
The held arms will go
my hair, go
all space will grow
as it has always.
Fast
from answers
yes or no
all contractions ending with n't.
As strangeness calls to strangeness
a fast without home
without dusty paths
without must but
sky - horizon - land
to swing closer, farther
in the only same
dance.
dec 30, 08
from socks and schedule
avoiding what I don't know about
dont want
don't say so to
This fast
will be a taffy machine
turning happily my love on the rack.
The held arms will go
my hair, go
all space will grow
as it has always.
Fast
from answers
yes or no
all contractions ending with n't.
As strangeness calls to strangeness
a fast without home
without dusty paths
without must but
sky - horizon - land
to swing closer, farther
in the only same
dance.
dec 30, 08
Painted On Skin
Why shouldn't loving you without
your painted on skin
be a custom for me
So good at unbuttoning freckles
and sliding shadows off your hips
leaving stretch marks on the floor
and all the shades they stencil in.
The slick red muscles
and their purple halos
Their water smooth bone
wrap me
true and honest
So glad they're loved
and not cut or cast
So glad my paint skin loves their
neon colors
as happy as New Year.
dec 30, 09
your painted on skin
be a custom for me
So good at unbuttoning freckles
and sliding shadows off your hips
leaving stretch marks on the floor
and all the shades they stencil in.
The slick red muscles
and their purple halos
Their water smooth bone
wrap me
true and honest
So glad they're loved
and not cut or cast
So glad my paint skin loves their
neon colors
as happy as New Year.
dec 30, 09
Paper Fans
Life, and all those big things,
is accordian folded
we used to make paper fans in church
and everyone who wants to read its script,
topples sideways looking.
Each other,
and all those big things,
are accordian folded
we used to sell paper fans for a quarter
and everyone who wants to meet,
tangles waffley on the floor.
Reality and un,
and all those so big things,
we used to crack up over those fans in the front pew
and everyone who wants to fold their own,
gets their fingers mashed and confused
braiding flesh and story
waffling life and you and me
toppling their tangles sideways
reading it.
dec 30, 08
is accordian folded
we used to make paper fans in church
and everyone who wants to read its script,
topples sideways looking.
Each other,
and all those big things,
are accordian folded
we used to sell paper fans for a quarter
and everyone who wants to meet,
tangles waffley on the floor.
Reality and un,
and all those so big things,
we used to crack up over those fans in the front pew
and everyone who wants to fold their own,
gets their fingers mashed and confused
braiding flesh and story
waffling life and you and me
toppling their tangles sideways
reading it.
dec 30, 08
A Prayer in Language
:::Translation note-
Gan xie ni (very sincere thank you)
Zhu a (God)
Zan mei Zhu (praise God)
shi de (true):::
Dear Daddy, in Heaven,
thank you when I hurt so badly
and I cannot feel love
(Gan xie ni)
When my own hands feel strange
and hurtful
When you're gone
(Gan xie ni)
I want to thank you for these things
because my faith is breaking
(Zhu a)
when I doubt and
there is empty, empty
(Gan xie) emptiness
in my hands
in your hands.
(Gan xie ni)
I thank you when my friends are scattered
their faces breaking
mine, dis remembered
(Zan mei Zhu)
And time won't hold us
Space only beholds us
and turns.
(Gan xie ni)
Thank you for the cold
that drops like a stone
And the way it hurts
my limbs in the morning.
Thank you when you're gone
(shi de)
I can't see you
(Zhu a)
Did you really promise
anything?
(Zan mei Zhu)
Thank you for the
aweful space and
(Gan xie ni)
time.
dec 30, 08
Gan xie ni (very sincere thank you)
Zhu a (God)
Zan mei Zhu (praise God)
shi de (true):::
Dear Daddy, in Heaven,
thank you when I hurt so badly
and I cannot feel love
(Gan xie ni)
When my own hands feel strange
and hurtful
When you're gone
(Gan xie ni)
I want to thank you for these things
because my faith is breaking
(Zhu a)
when I doubt and
there is empty, empty
(Gan xie) emptiness
in my hands
in your hands.
(Gan xie ni)
I thank you when my friends are scattered
their faces breaking
mine, dis remembered
(Zan mei Zhu)
And time won't hold us
Space only beholds us
and turns.
(Gan xie ni)
Thank you for the cold
that drops like a stone
And the way it hurts
my limbs in the morning.
Thank you when you're gone
(shi de)
I can't see you
(Zhu a)
Did you really promise
anything?
(Zan mei Zhu)
Thank you for the
aweful space and
(Gan xie ni)
time.
dec 30, 08
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