The secret society of us
an organization of codes and calls
When I look at you sideskance,
when we walk a circle in the forest,
things never known about
Word masks we say
not like love or run,
words that mean very little
to anyone
but you and me when
read them in the personals.
Dec 10, 09
The Reflection Caster
The river black
the branches blacker
The sky slack
the horizon slacker
The city cast
the reflection caster.
Jan 21, 10
the branches blacker
The sky slack
the horizon slacker
The city cast
the reflection caster.
Jan 21, 10
Temperature
Hearth stones
hold and entomb
The passion of ashes
refusing to cool
to grey
to lessen
Larger than our backs
pressed side by side
turning temperatures
glowing fading
returning
Pull us to
procession
your build and lessen
into only temperature
holding only
willing ashes.
jan 21, 10
hold and entomb
The passion of ashes
refusing to cool
to grey
to lessen
Larger than our backs
pressed side by side
turning temperatures
glowing fading
returning
Pull us to
procession
your build and lessen
into only temperature
holding only
willing ashes.
jan 21, 10
Summer Skirt
Summer skirt
its fan and fold
its hem unravel
revel loose
threads and stain
wearing thin
rising like east
trailing like traincar
diving like wave
and bird on a fetter
sheet on a line
Summer on ever.
Jan 21, 10
its fan and fold
its hem unravel
revel loose
threads and stain
wearing thin
rising like east
trailing like traincar
diving like wave
and bird on a fetter
sheet on a line
Summer on ever.
Jan 21, 10
Envelope and Cigarette
The taste
of envelopes
and of cigarettes
of paper
and subtlety
of scar
reminding
skin reminding
color
what it is
what it isn't
what it tastes like
envelope and cigarette.
jan 21, 10
of envelopes
and of cigarettes
of paper
and subtlety
of scar
reminding
skin reminding
color
what it is
what it isn't
what it tastes like
envelope and cigarette.
jan 21, 10
On the Way Back
Champagne champagne,
you lovely thing,
you bubble my heart
you bumble my aim.
I go back to my childhood,
that bread crumb cord
break it to pieces
feed it to birds.
Jan 10, 10
you lovely thing,
you bubble my heart
you bumble my aim.
I go back to my childhood,
that bread crumb cord
break it to pieces
feed it to birds.
Jan 10, 10
Light Skin
Lucid skin
light you
Ludic space
not reaching through
the long
channelled labrynth
Lucid sliding
eucalyptus
slew
your lucid skin
across my ludic view.
Jan 20, 10
light you
Ludic space
not reaching through
the long
channelled labrynth
Lucid sliding
eucalyptus
slew
your lucid skin
across my ludic view.
Jan 20, 10
The Immediate Sense
Layers of smell
traveling through nothing
into into into
what on top of what
on top of what
unlidded, unlashed
undoes
layers of minutes.
Layers undo
layers of in in in.
Jan 20, 10
traveling through nothing
into into into
what on top of what
on top of what
unlidded, unlashed
undoes
layers of minutes.
Layers undo
layers of in in in.
Jan 20, 10
Parachute
A dark parachute
ties its bows to
all the upward limbs
rises and flies
pulling this
falls, shrouds
this
There is no calling it
away or here
just being where
it's being.
Jan 14, 10
ties its bows to
all the upward limbs
rises and flies
pulling this
falls, shrouds
this
There is no calling it
away or here
just being where
it's being.
Jan 14, 10
Pride
Rush and rain
sprain my way
away from what?
Your pity
a pry annoying my
pride
yank and fly.
March and mad
letting you have
it all by what?
Yourself, a perfect tongue
in a broken mouth
lunge and run.
Jan 14, 10
sprain my way
away from what?
Your pity
a pry annoying my
pride
yank and fly.
March and mad
letting you have
it all by what?
Yourself, a perfect tongue
in a broken mouth
lunge and run.
Jan 14, 10
The Word and I
In the beginning and before now
was the word
and now
the word was with God
and me, and I,
the word, was God
and me
Then the word came
and I came
unsealed
The word silenced
returned
and I dissapeared
into real
itself
and became and be
and learned the name.
was the word
and now
the word was with God
and me, and I,
the word, was God
and me
Then the word came
and I came
unsealed
The word silenced
returned
and I dissapeared
into real
itself
and became and be
and learned the name.
Not Going With You
If I can't get sleep
without some part of you haunting
then I just won't
I'll listen to music
until my deeps swell
to full faculty
squeezing waking
thoughts from off their neatly horded shelves
And the rabbit holes
my waking trembles around
will become pillows cool for a nap
for a day mid-shade sleep
up from which I care not if
I come or don't
Fearless shade transcends my skin
and makes off with my wounds
orders them in a festive parade
grotesque clowns and fortune singers
my dismembered shadows
line-up in mock order
yelping weeping jabbing laughing
at their freedom.
But I won't go
if you come after.
jan 6, 10
without some part of you haunting
then I just won't
I'll listen to music
until my deeps swell
to full faculty
squeezing waking
thoughts from off their neatly horded shelves
And the rabbit holes
my waking trembles around
will become pillows cool for a nap
for a day mid-shade sleep
up from which I care not if
I come or don't
Fearless shade transcends my skin
and makes off with my wounds
orders them in a festive parade
grotesque clowns and fortune singers
my dismembered shadows
line-up in mock order
yelping weeping jabbing laughing
at their freedom.
But I won't go
if you come after.
jan 6, 10
Go Crouch
On my knees
on my heels
toes packed like duffels
I expect a bus to rise
my eyes watch windows
wave at blurs
could be strangers
could be me
that I speed happily away from.
jan 6, 10
on my heels
toes packed like duffels
I expect a bus to rise
my eyes watch windows
wave at blurs
could be strangers
could be me
that I speed happily away from.
jan 6, 10
Cups
Cups shake against one another
feigning breakability
faking sighs - those surrendering breaths
porcelain shivers and clatters
nearly shimmering out of its shape
shimmering into heat
that's no where to be found
the winter should have solidified
and bound their stone forms
too tight for such pretending
but the cups remember their days
as clay
and try to soften.
jan 6. 10
feigning breakability
faking sighs - those surrendering breaths
porcelain shivers and clatters
nearly shimmering out of its shape
shimmering into heat
that's no where to be found
the winter should have solidified
and bound their stone forms
too tight for such pretending
but the cups remember their days
as clay
and try to soften.
jan 6. 10
Missing Dream
Chinese ivory pipes
and their white violins
washed on the rocky beach
we cried over them
and why they had come
whose hands they had fallen from
it didn't matter that our own hands
were about to drop everything but one another
just then they were more alive than our own hearts.
jan 6. 10
and their white violins
washed on the rocky beach
we cried over them
and why they had come
whose hands they had fallen from
it didn't matter that our own hands
were about to drop everything but one another
just then they were more alive than our own hearts.
jan 6. 10
Tire of Me
Tire of me
wipe my wrinkles
from your face
your knuckles
Forget them and
their paths
so aimless
running never
hesitating in the lines
they were drawing
the permanence
they were leaving.
Find their constant speed
a chore
and their constant diverging
a waste.
Tire, soon, of me.
Jan 6, 10
wipe my wrinkles
from your face
your knuckles
Forget them and
their paths
so aimless
running never
hesitating in the lines
they were drawing
the permanence
they were leaving.
Find their constant speed
a chore
and their constant diverging
a waste.
Tire, soon, of me.
Jan 6, 10
Disaster Watching
Watching the fire
witnessing its disaster
and not touching
just feeding it, and rearranging
the beautiful.
jan 6. 10
witnessing its disaster
and not touching
just feeding it, and rearranging
the beautiful.
jan 6. 10
Holding Hands
Our hands can't hold one anothers'
they are full of space
full of themselves
full of holding on
meaning threatening
to give up its service
to our holding hands.
jan 6. 10
they are full of space
full of themselves
full of holding on
meaning threatening
to give up its service
to our holding hands.
jan 6. 10
New Year's
Hair cut
take off
what falls
unhurt
cut
just sound
just weight
how small
just past
just time
the same
cut
it's been
all wait
all want
no bind
cut off
proof of
year gone
cut
new space
for time
to grow
neck long
what comes.
jan 5. 10
take off
what falls
unhurt
cut
just sound
just weight
how small
just past
just time
the same
cut
it's been
all wait
all want
no bind
cut off
proof of
year gone
cut
new space
for time
to grow
neck long
what comes.
jan 5. 10
Teach Me
Teach me how not to touch
all the pretty shelved things
and no chance of hands too small
dropping all the glass cups.
Teach me what are pockets for
and how to ball my fists up
and no chance of nails too short
scraping all the glass up.
Teach me how to wash my hands
of all the pink crystal blood
and no chance of smearing them
mixing blood and tears up.
jan 4. 10
all the pretty shelved things
and no chance of hands too small
dropping all the glass cups.
Teach me what are pockets for
and how to ball my fists up
and no chance of nails too short
scraping all the glass up.
Teach me how to wash my hands
of all the pink crystal blood
and no chance of smearing them
mixing blood and tears up.
jan 4. 10
Undoing Pattern
Woods crosshatch and steeple
in dizzy repetition
until pattern is a static
light is pixel
branches and trunks and dead nests
black run and blot
sky and horizon color
blink and scatter
wrists that would reach it all
flatten and iron
lumps of rust undoing matter.
jan 4, 10
in dizzy repetition
until pattern is a static
light is pixel
branches and trunks and dead nests
black run and blot
sky and horizon color
blink and scatter
wrists that would reach it all
flatten and iron
lumps of rust undoing matter.
jan 4, 10
Edge Runner
I need to run into your edges
let me bump into your hands
don't blow me apart with your joking
this is the stuff of us, we small ones
this is all we have to run after
so at least stretch a ribbon across the end
let us know where we can stop
where you stop
where the wild begins.
jan 5, 10
let me bump into your hands
don't blow me apart with your joking
this is the stuff of us, we small ones
this is all we have to run after
so at least stretch a ribbon across the end
let us know where we can stop
where you stop
where the wild begins.
jan 5, 10
All I Had to Say
Quiet breaking answers
is that all you had to say?
and I'm apologizing
and I'm insincere
because I'm not sorry
that it's so little
it was all.
jan 6, 10
is that all you had to say?
and I'm apologizing
and I'm insincere
because I'm not sorry
that it's so little
it was all.
jan 6, 10
God, More
God, you die
you ask me to
God, I die
I ask you to
do more
don't leave a part of me
not memory
let some sand absorb
more.
God, you die
you invite me to
God, I die
and I
like the dark you.
jan 4, 10
you ask me to
God, I die
I ask you to
do more
don't leave a part of me
not memory
let some sand absorb
more.
God, you die
you invite me to
God, I die
and I
like the dark you.
jan 4, 10
Words and String
Our bodies are the words
but where are their meanings
we search in the connection
in the in between
the covers are worn
the edges rounded
all the soul and the message
is straining to be seen
with or without our bodies
with or without their strings.
jan 4. 10
but where are their meanings
we search in the connection
in the in between
the covers are worn
the edges rounded
all the soul and the message
is straining to be seen
with or without our bodies
with or without their strings.
jan 4. 10
Of the Earth
All our words from the earth
burned high in my head
all our smoky temple prayers
rose with me
And all our questions drowned
mute under tides of cloud.
dec 22.09
burned high in my head
all our smoky temple prayers
rose with me
And all our questions drowned
mute under tides of cloud.
dec 22.09
Up to Something
Tonight I flew just above the clouds
wetting all my hems
I found our moon our stars
We didn't miss each other, did we?
They stood stock still
Had I caught them at something?
The're right up there all the time
We were feeling up to something
They were just up here
not caring to catch us
not wanting to be caught.
dec 22.09
wetting all my hems
I found our moon our stars
We didn't miss each other, did we?
They stood stock still
Had I caught them at something?
The're right up there all the time
We were feeling up to something
They were just up here
not caring to catch us
not wanting to be caught.
dec 22.09
Frank Baum
Frank Baum,
you broke my heart
right across your knee, your lips
your pen, your ink.
You took me down your roads and then
took me straight back here again
And that is not where I wanted to be
I wanted to stay where hope is brave
and days are lean
If what you say has become true
why not leave me there and you
fly home, beg home, clap
your own clappy shoes
pretend it's your dream
leave, and forget me.
dec 22.09
you broke my heart
right across your knee, your lips
your pen, your ink.
You took me down your roads and then
took me straight back here again
And that is not where I wanted to be
I wanted to stay where hope is brave
and days are lean
If what you say has become true
why not leave me there and you
fly home, beg home, clap
your own clappy shoes
pretend it's your dream
leave, and forget me.
dec 22.09
Roof Chlorine
The roof with its chlorine vents
that cleared my sinuses
that cleared my senses
that cleared my walls
sit and hold me
breathe your chlorine
in and out of me
until I remember.
Stay under me until I can go.
Bring me here when I can't come.
dec 22.09
that cleared my sinuses
that cleared my senses
that cleared my walls
sit and hold me
breathe your chlorine
in and out of me
until I remember.
Stay under me until I can go.
Bring me here when I can't come.
dec 22.09
Strayer
Strayer
always strayer
always loving strangers
coming backer
always backer
always loving you
don't worry her
you'll never stop her
but you'll always have her.
dec 22.09
always strayer
always loving strangers
coming backer
always backer
always loving you
don't worry her
you'll never stop her
but you'll always have her.
dec 22.09
Life Inside
Insides reflect
landscape of
woods cloud
path no-path
words and
punctuation show
all the walks
you've ever taken.
dec 22, 09
landscape of
woods cloud
path no-path
words and
punctuation show
all the walks
you've ever taken.
dec 22, 09
Go Back to the Girl-wood
First child,
all you say is new and yours
you've not known a hand-you-down
and no expectations but your own that
all your days will be great,
great as the ones you wound your childhood around.
Go back and find that forgotten yarn, first child.
Go back for it
and be great.
dec 22. 09
all you say is new and yours
you've not known a hand-you-down
and no expectations but your own that
all your days will be great,
great as the ones you wound your childhood around.
Go back and find that forgotten yarn, first child.
Go back for it
and be great.
dec 22. 09
Company
Day, I will pull
you like adolescent limbs
You may grow in pain
or come along
willingly build a house with me
stay for tea
and stay for fire
stay for Christmas
keep me company
while there's still snow.
dec 21, 09
you like adolescent limbs
You may grow in pain
or come along
willingly build a house with me
stay for tea
and stay for fire
stay for Christmas
keep me company
while there's still snow.
dec 21, 09
the Word was God
everything is god.
don't write it
it will rob him.
everything. Everything.
never less. evermore.
expanding as my
hell expands.
god cannot stand your hell
your creation.
he has stood in it
eaten and rocked
and sang to my
destruction.
everything God,
please everything me.
dec 21. 09
don't write it
it will rob him.
everything. Everything.
never less. evermore.
expanding as my
hell expands.
god cannot stand your hell
your creation.
he has stood in it
eaten and rocked
and sang to my
destruction.
everything God,
please everything me.
dec 21. 09
Keeping to Myself
Keep fields inside
keep snowdust
and treeshadow
keep cloudshade
and walkingache
inside.
dec 21. 09
keep snowdust
and treeshadow
keep cloudshade
and walkingache
inside.
dec 21. 09
Shut Eyes
Eyes open for all to see,
all that's falling,
all the ask, all the see.
Shut them, shut them up
wrap them, lock them.
bring nothing forward
for all the world.
it will be just the same-
the earth and its lovers
will also say
shut them.
dec 21. 09
all that's falling,
all the ask, all the see.
Shut them, shut them up
wrap them, lock them.
bring nothing forward
for all the world.
it will be just the same-
the earth and its lovers
will also say
shut them.
dec 21. 09
Poets' Teeth
The pull of those
exotic hands
bashing our skulls
softly between their palms
bashing our ribs
skeining breath mute
grinding the color of our eyes
into dye for their
self-cut tattoos
white framing scars
from all the poets' teeth
before us.
dec 21. 09
exotic hands
bashing our skulls
softly between their palms
bashing our ribs
skeining breath mute
grinding the color of our eyes
into dye for their
self-cut tattoos
white framing scars
from all the poets' teeth
before us.
dec 21. 09
Shortest Day Emptied
Shortest day shortest day
quieter longer
stiller thinner
the less air changed
the more daylight has to burn
up up morning
up light
damaged as you are in our sleep.
dec 21. 09
quieter longer
stiller thinner
the less air changed
the more daylight has to burn
up up morning
up light
damaged as you are in our sleep.
dec 21. 09
Cover
Covered in my clothes
and nothing else
Covered with a gift of words and space
eyes covered with new lights
mouth covered with new hands
new prayer
new faith
covered and full of ways to be
dec 21. 09
and nothing else
Covered with a gift of words and space
eyes covered with new lights
mouth covered with new hands
new prayer
new faith
covered and full of ways to be
dec 21. 09
Looking for the Moon
I'm always looking for the moon
it's always fake:
dashboard lights in reflection
streetlamp rain magnified
dog eyes
the whites of your eyes
turning from me.
dec 21, 09
it's always fake:
dashboard lights in reflection
streetlamp rain magnified
dog eyes
the whites of your eyes
turning from me.
dec 21, 09
Remember the Mess You Made
You can play with your wounds
worn out in the service
remember your bones
chased out of the attic
out of the cellar
no sign of the mess I made there.
dec 21. 09
worn out in the service
remember your bones
chased out of the attic
out of the cellar
no sign of the mess I made there.
dec 21. 09
Hush
The planes rub the windows
rub my spine
Morse 'hush. don't. move.'
I rub the windows
rub my spine
Try. to. hush.
dec 21. 09
rub my spine
Morse 'hush. don't. move.'
I rub the windows
rub my spine
Try. to. hush.
dec 21. 09
Ounces
Never say 'you' right
lips love and freeze
in the middle of the night
teeth tangle the 'n'
pour the sound
ounce by ounce
pour it right
between teeth
pour the night.
dec 21. 09
lips love and freeze
in the middle of the night
teeth tangle the 'n'
pour the sound
ounce by ounce
pour it right
between teeth
pour the night.
dec 21. 09
Icarus Dreams
Don't say it's bad
there's something to be hoped for
in the sun
and that once we did have wind for wings
that took us out of this weather
right up into the light
so close that they dried up
and we nearly broke our necks
in the crash
Nearly.
there's something to be hoped for
in the sun
and that once we did have wind for wings
that took us out of this weather
right up into the light
so close that they dried up
and we nearly broke our necks
in the crash
Nearly.
No Gretel
Love cornered me
locked my child heart
and it's hard to grow up
while some one's loving you
so close
it's hard not to go into the woods
or not too far
and not scrape the moss off the trees
for your dinner.
When if you die out there
too far in to find
some one's heart will be
breaking wide open
without a body to bury it in.
dec 18.09
locked my child heart
and it's hard to grow up
while some one's loving you
so close
it's hard not to go into the woods
or not too far
and not scrape the moss off the trees
for your dinner.
When if you die out there
too far in to find
some one's heart will be
breaking wide open
without a body to bury it in.
dec 18.09
Held On
My fists held on tight
to hiding
held on to my clothes
they wouldn't drop in a pile
to be kicked through
held on tight
to my hiding insides
so they wouldn't
be found out
scattered.
oct 30, 09
to hiding
held on to my clothes
they wouldn't drop in a pile
to be kicked through
held on tight
to my hiding insides
so they wouldn't
be found out
scattered.
oct 30, 09
Trombone Slides
That one
time
when the air
came
up to meet me
in the clouds
The limbs went
bare bare bare
I saw
the ribs of the sky
Mine trembled,
trombone slides,
trying
to be filled with such
air.
oct 09, 09
time
when the air
came
up to meet me
in the clouds
The limbs went
bare bare bare
I saw
the ribs of the sky
Mine trembled,
trombone slides,
trying
to be filled with such
air.
oct 09, 09
Gin Better Than Water
Gin
not water minerald
filtrated
pretending
it's nothing.
Here with my everything
the sweet bitter
that smells like an honesty
not water
with it's integrity
of empty.
Count my contradictions on both hands
put them together
taste them. pray them.
oct 30.09
not water minerald
filtrated
pretending
it's nothing.
Here with my everything
the sweet bitter
that smells like an honesty
not water
with it's integrity
of empty.
Count my contradictions on both hands
put them together
taste them. pray them.
oct 30.09
Marigolds
Walking past marigold embers
November embers
the first to go
to give to burn
its thousand chambered hearts
lay in pieces
at passing feet.
oct 30, 09
November embers
the first to go
to give to burn
its thousand chambered hearts
lay in pieces
at passing feet.
oct 30, 09
Knitting
The stretched yarn sky
waiting to be knit up
into something warm, something
to hide under
When she's satisfied with all she's unraveled
She'll knit up something like that sky.
oct 30,09
waiting to be knit up
into something warm, something
to hide under
When she's satisfied with all she's unraveled
She'll knit up something like that sky.
oct 30,09
Hidden Hair
The other woman
under her hair
she loved more than I did
she held my freedom
hidden in the deep black shade
somewhere under her hair
She loved even my bare head
loved the whole country
without shame
and only God's help she received
to teach love
from under her hair.
nov 8, 09
under her hair
she loved more than I did
she held my freedom
hidden in the deep black shade
somewhere under her hair
She loved even my bare head
loved the whole country
without shame
and only God's help she received
to teach love
from under her hair.
nov 8, 09
Now to Die While Living
I die
I be
I train car
I November sun set
I child ignoring me
I believe
I empty
I wait and want
to die
to be.
november 8
I be
I train car
I November sun set
I child ignoring me
I believe
I empty
I wait and want
to die
to be.
november 8
Fallout
Of all the perfect moments,
that should have been deadly
The tree that could have
broken my neck with loving relish.
The smell of laughter soup
that could have burst our emaciated bellies.
The words that thrash
all my blood until I run
without the permission of oxygen
Could a following moment survive
this fallout beauty?
november 8
that should have been deadly
The tree that could have
broken my neck with loving relish.
The smell of laughter soup
that could have burst our emaciated bellies.
The words that thrash
all my blood until I run
without the permission of oxygen
Could a following moment survive
this fallout beauty?
november 8
Words Fit Squares
They pile up in folds
they pile against fingers
they pile in my mouth, my throat
they pile up in the miles
how can I prepare
to sort them into saying so.
november 8
they pile against fingers
they pile in my mouth, my throat
they pile up in the miles
how can I prepare
to sort them into saying so.
november 8
Into Dashes
Passing diesels
break the sunset
into dashes
Birds break the skies
Breath breaks lives
And the between us
breaks against lashes.
nove 8
break the sunset
into dashes
Birds break the skies
Breath breaks lives
And the between us
breaks against lashes.
nove 8
Sunset Snow Cone Syrup
Sunset snow cone syrup
for sharing
for passing
a summer cold
the planes ride it so slick
they melt they swirl
then dive
to lick the very last drop.
nove 8
for sharing
for passing
a summer cold
the planes ride it so slick
they melt they swirl
then dive
to lick the very last drop.
nove 8
an attic day
the fern molts, but its alien shoots grow fuzzy in their own mulch
his clothes lie in the doorway, a puddle of time, all the days he's worn them
fruit flies harass the window herbs, sometimes my face, and I don't even have the bitterness to mind
I gather the tea mugs, clinking, checking them for oracles
Keep moving through the dust galaxies,
but my heart always runs ahead, keeping time
in a safe thought far from here.
nov 3, 09
his clothes lie in the doorway, a puddle of time, all the days he's worn them
fruit flies harass the window herbs, sometimes my face, and I don't even have the bitterness to mind
I gather the tea mugs, clinking, checking them for oracles
Keep moving through the dust galaxies,
but my heart always runs ahead, keeping time
in a safe thought far from here.
nov 3, 09
The Word Good
Good, the powerful word,
scares the hope out of us.
Its weight, its repercussion
tires in our useless hearts.
We turn from all its possessions:
construction, structure, strength
peace, play, proportion
fidelity, faith, fellow.
And hum helplessness
into one another's ears.
oct 29, 09
scares the hope out of us.
Its weight, its repercussion
tires in our useless hearts.
We turn from all its possessions:
construction, structure, strength
peace, play, proportion
fidelity, faith, fellow.
And hum helplessness
into one another's ears.
oct 29, 09
The Dream Breathing
We fight the buoyancy of dust bodies
swimming from light
into the bed
searching under rocks
letting the difficulty of breathing
go
our bubbles break the surface
and leave us so far below now.
We play like breathing
into one another's mouths
laughing at how awkward
the duties of breath can be.
Reckless we sink
not asking if we'll ever come back
from this swim.
10,29,09
swimming from light
into the bed
searching under rocks
letting the difficulty of breathing
go
our bubbles break the surface
and leave us so far below now.
We play like breathing
into one another's mouths
laughing at how awkward
the duties of breath can be.
Reckless we sink
not asking if we'll ever come back
from this swim.
10,29,09
Squirrels
squirrels pack their jaws,
run in always opposite ways,
as fear calls to fear.
There is no end to dreams,
and their ready memories,
their devastating realities,
I can barely wake up from,
I can barely un-believe enough
to stop running
from fear to fear.
oct 29, 09
Elijah
Leaves snap together
bicycle spokes click locustly
i'm always watering eyes
into the eyes I meet
careening after the leaves
toppling against their torrents
i want Elijah to show
his fiery team
surely shimmering in ignited limbs
i just want to go
none of the eyes have need
for me
they are full of their own
oct 19, 09
bicycle spokes click locustly
i'm always watering eyes
into the eyes I meet
careening after the leaves
toppling against their torrents
i want Elijah to show
his fiery team
surely shimmering in ignited limbs
i just want to go
none of the eyes have need
for me
they are full of their own
oct 19, 09
The Circus
The leaves gather
holding baccalaureate
Children so new
they've not had their lessons.
The circus comes for a week
maybe more
if we don't dirty the magick carpet
too much with hustling through.
The children in their impossible costumes
don't cry as they gather for our applause
unless it's for us
who in our trample for the kingdom
miss Beauty, the sage jester.
oct 25, 09
holding baccalaureate
Children so new
they've not had their lessons.
The circus comes for a week
maybe more
if we don't dirty the magick carpet
too much with hustling through.
The children in their impossible costumes
don't cry as they gather for our applause
unless it's for us
who in our trample for the kingdom
miss Beauty, the sage jester.
oct 25, 09
The Day's Recipe
2 drops twisting spine joints
2 drops biting nails
2 drops deciding more sleeping or
2 drops staying behind glass
2 drops regretting the day's recipe.
oct 25, 09
2 drops biting nails
2 drops deciding more sleeping or
2 drops staying behind glass
2 drops regretting the day's recipe.
oct 25, 09
Mother Believes
Mother finally believes God may be good
that her daughters may be too
that she may be too.
She finally looks into the web
of winter tree limbs
and sees a simple pattern
repeated and expanded
into taking breath
stopping it
from its ragged in and out
slavery
and freeing it into the wind.
oct 25, 09
that her daughters may be too
that she may be too.
She finally looks into the web
of winter tree limbs
and sees a simple pattern
repeated and expanded
into taking breath
stopping it
from its ragged in and out
slavery
and freeing it into the wind.
oct 25, 09
Cultured
Piling stones
to horde our souls
the scrapers
the rises
the apart-ments
We could all be the same
and not know
And when I find a same
from the inside of my apartment
They are so separate from here
I shake and shake the Polaroid
but I continue to disappear
and all the meaning
stored inside these piled stones
is crumbling.
Oct 5, 09
to horde our souls
the scrapers
the rises
the apart-ments
We could all be the same
and not know
And when I find a same
from the inside of my apartment
They are so separate from here
I shake and shake the Polaroid
but I continue to disappear
and all the meaning
stored inside these piled stones
is crumbling.
Oct 5, 09
Hold Still
Eat representation
Eat communion from
one another's mouths
Scrolls we've swallowed
and coughed up
Paralyzed in their roll
Paralyzed in their left to right writing
It cannot be different
It has always been this way
Experience, paralyzed
To make it as edible as representation
Hold still
or
Things Fall Apart
Our mouths empty of community
The body and the blood
are just bones.
Oct 5, 09
Eat communion from
one another's mouths
Scrolls we've swallowed
and coughed up
Paralyzed in their roll
Paralyzed in their left to right writing
It cannot be different
It has always been this way
Experience, paralyzed
To make it as edible as representation
Hold still
or
Things Fall Apart
Our mouths empty of community
The body and the blood
are just bones.
Oct 5, 09
Paraphrase
Freedom, a paraphrase for killing
Neology for creating self
not creating life
a new open, a person
it closes the order, the court
liberate self, liberate death
tame the uncivilization of the living
quiet the chaos of communication.
Aug 31, 09
Neology for creating self
not creating life
a new open, a person
it closes the order, the court
liberate self, liberate death
tame the uncivilization of the living
quiet the chaos of communication.
Aug 31, 09
Tragicomedy in Lab
The class dissected the worms
looking for the circulatory system
finding the parts, the patterns,
constituents. critical. to cut.
They laughed out loud
at the chaos in their eyes
And they turned brooding
over the tragedy
of order
Still new, and splayed out
close enough to see the miraculous
and close enough to see the death.
Aug 31, 09
looking for the circulatory system
finding the parts, the patterns,
constituents. critical. to cut.
They laughed out loud
at the chaos in their eyes
And they turned brooding
over the tragedy
of order
Still new, and splayed out
close enough to see the miraculous
and close enough to see the death.
Aug 31, 09
Script
The children sang a unified identity
and it was for power
they were taught to begin and to end
together
and the song was written for power
they sang it for pleasure, for the joy
of solidarity, of sound.
And their playground language
never followed the same script.
But they grew up in power,
inherited it
Their culture
their singing
their identity
was power
their education
their family
their religion
was power.
They forget the lines
they check the script
This land is your land
This land is my land
from California
to the New York Islands.
sept 1, 09
and it was for power
they were taught to begin and to end
together
and the song was written for power
they sang it for pleasure, for the joy
of solidarity, of sound.
And their playground language
never followed the same script.
But they grew up in power,
inherited it
Their culture
their singing
their identity
was power
their education
their family
their religion
was power.
They forget the lines
they check the script
This land is your land
This land is my land
from California
to the New York Islands.
sept 1, 09
Speak Me
Speak me
Language names me
it is before
me
It named itself before
I did
Before syntactic 'I'
Before semantic 'I want'
Language showed my face
in front of me
off of me
not under my hands but
before my eyes
And showed 'this is you'
eyes
and 'this is also you'
hands
And I understood 'this is not me'
the space between my eyes and hands.
Oct 5, 09
Language names me
it is before
me
It named itself before
I did
Before syntactic 'I'
Before semantic 'I want'
Language showed my face
in front of me
off of me
not under my hands but
before my eyes
And showed 'this is you'
eyes
and 'this is also you'
hands
And I understood 'this is not me'
the space between my eyes and hands.
Oct 5, 09
The Certain Light of Rain
The certain light of rain
that brings its own time with it
Makes the street lamps buzz
in the afternoon
Deciding- what authority -that all the day people
need a curtain pulled
After weeks and weeks of spinning holiday
weather into golden thread
The certain light of rain
puts barriers between every blink and step.
Sept 19, 09
that brings its own time with it
Makes the street lamps buzz
in the afternoon
Deciding- what authority -that all the day people
need a curtain pulled
After weeks and weeks of spinning holiday
weather into golden thread
The certain light of rain
puts barriers between every blink and step.
Sept 19, 09
Humidity
We kept so many towels in that house
as if they could soak up the humidity
but it was what made the moss grow
constantly. Something we
couldn't change
couldn't leave.
And when we did, we realized
it was air, not just extra water.
Our lungs are end
of autumn leaves.
Sept 6, 09
as if they could soak up the humidity
but it was what made the moss grow
constantly. Something we
couldn't change
couldn't leave.
And when we did, we realized
it was air, not just extra water.
Our lungs are end
of autumn leaves.
Sept 6, 09
Don't Chant
Prayer in circle
Do mantras work?
Don't Don't Don't Don't
When God is something other
than belief
Prayer distills into
don't don't don't don't
Trying to forget good and bad luck
Trying to remember some formula
The rune for opening God's jaw
How to make God answer
I won't I won't I won't.
sept 16, 09
Do mantras work?
Don't Don't Don't Don't
When God is something other
than belief
Prayer distills into
don't don't don't don't
Trying to forget good and bad luck
Trying to remember some formula
The rune for opening God's jaw
How to make God answer
I won't I won't I won't.
sept 16, 09
Something
The words go crazy
until all they say
is something something
oh something.
Which is good.
Isn't this praying?
Using words in place of silence
So when they go crazy
it's at least something
that they're there at all.
sept 16, 09
until all they say
is something something
oh something.
Which is good.
Isn't this praying?
Using words in place of silence
So when they go crazy
it's at least something
that they're there at all.
sept 16, 09
A Walk
In the city you can smell the laundry
you can smell the trash
you can smell the purple basil
you can smell the balance cats.
In the city you can smell the crazy
you can smell the track
you can smell the sanitation steam
you can smell the linger leaves.
In the city you can smell the waiting
you can smell the go
you can smell the homeless river
you can smell the warning snow.
In the city you can smell the children
you can smell the scrap
you can smell the argue stoops
you can smell the eye contact.
aug 28 09
you can smell the trash
you can smell the purple basil
you can smell the balance cats.
In the city you can smell the crazy
you can smell the track
you can smell the sanitation steam
you can smell the linger leaves.
In the city you can smell the waiting
you can smell the go
you can smell the homeless river
you can smell the warning snow.
In the city you can smell the children
you can smell the scrap
you can smell the argue stoops
you can smell the eye contact.
aug 28 09
Thank You for Your Childhood
Dear autumn,
you make even a clean kitchen
into a poem
and his white tee shirt
too old to read the writing
into a childhood morning
and even the baking of city streets
into afternoons of those
same childhood forests.
You make living today
into like never before.
aug 21 09
you make even a clean kitchen
into a poem
and his white tee shirt
too old to read the writing
into a childhood morning
and even the baking of city streets
into afternoons of those
same childhood forests.
You make living today
into like never before.
aug 21 09
Behind My Back
The clouds move over the first autumn sun
and I feel the season
move behind my back
a friendly shadow.
You always make me feel so unaware
I can only sing alto
to all your soaring.
aug 21, 09
and I feel the season
move behind my back
a friendly shadow.
You always make me feel so unaware
I can only sing alto
to all your soaring.
aug 21, 09
Sing to Me of Heaven
Sing to me of heaven
please don't
it hurts personally
as if I myself were going
or have been before
as if I myself miss the place
the city as open as the country.
Sing to me of heaven
I'll sit through it
and swallow knots
as if I myself have been there.
Aug 15, 09
please don't
it hurts personally
as if I myself were going
or have been before
as if I myself miss the place
the city as open as the country.
Sing to me of heaven
I'll sit through it
and swallow knots
as if I myself have been there.
Aug 15, 09
My Little Spriit
My little spirit throws a fit
because my willing limbs are not a dog's
my span not a buzzard's
my bones are not hollow
and my blood is not wind.
My flesh not, like itself, a fire.
My little spirit kicks at my ribs
topples and smashes what's behind my chest
rises and racks the windows.
My little prisoner
looks at its home at the ends of my fingers
and all its kingdom they cannot touch.
because my willing limbs are not a dog's
my span not a buzzard's
my bones are not hollow
and my blood is not wind.
My flesh not, like itself, a fire.
My little spirit kicks at my ribs
topples and smashes what's behind my chest
rises and racks the windows.
My little prisoner
looks at its home at the ends of my fingers
and all its kingdom they cannot touch.
Must Be
A pulse warms me to sleep
and I wonder whose it must be
A dream runs like wild rabbits
through the sleep
and I wonder who it might be
A ghost comes sometimes
folding paper around its words
reminding me I have an appointment
and I wonder what it must be.
I wonder about you
and who you must be.
Aug 1 09
and I wonder whose it must be
A dream runs like wild rabbits
through the sleep
and I wonder who it might be
A ghost comes sometimes
folding paper around its words
reminding me I have an appointment
and I wonder what it must be.
I wonder about you
and who you must be.
Aug 1 09
Spring Cracks
Spring cracks and stirs up its
everything
Draws me out
Older than I should be
Whiter in bone and soul
than the brittle hair
pulled skull-tight on the elderly.
Run harder and longer
to lose the corpse I've been
watching on its pillow by mine,
lose the hot, scar tools
I've changed myself with,
lose my mouth.
Summer stirs up its everything
for me to put my nose
into. Wetting my face.
I ignore its everything.
In fear of the points
of grass stalks
the hot of rocks.
I lie benign on top and
not inside the pandora of
the wild season.
Fall stirs up its everything
untacking the indiscriminate Summer
taking it down like muslin over a waiting work
It stirs up its cold
the reserved love its rocks and yellow grasses
its slender arms of still-warm tree blood
smell of.
It draws me out to work again
lie myself on the cool ground and
swell with the warm sky blood
to change into my wild
to do it reservedly
to roll my dreams on my tongue
and tell no one what I am stirring.
Winter stirs up its everything
the white alchohol of bare
sky, trees, rocks
uniformly ignoring my work
determinedly blind
unafraid of what I am becoming
behind its terrible back.
Aug 1 09
everything
Draws me out
Older than I should be
Whiter in bone and soul
than the brittle hair
pulled skull-tight on the elderly.
Run harder and longer
to lose the corpse I've been
watching on its pillow by mine,
lose the hot, scar tools
I've changed myself with,
lose my mouth.
Summer stirs up its everything
for me to put my nose
into. Wetting my face.
I ignore its everything.
In fear of the points
of grass stalks
the hot of rocks.
I lie benign on top and
not inside the pandora of
the wild season.
Fall stirs up its everything
untacking the indiscriminate Summer
taking it down like muslin over a waiting work
It stirs up its cold
the reserved love its rocks and yellow grasses
its slender arms of still-warm tree blood
smell of.
It draws me out to work again
lie myself on the cool ground and
swell with the warm sky blood
to change into my wild
to do it reservedly
to roll my dreams on my tongue
and tell no one what I am stirring.
Winter stirs up its everything
the white alchohol of bare
sky, trees, rocks
uniformly ignoring my work
determinedly blind
unafraid of what I am becoming
behind its terrible back.
Aug 1 09
Ghosts
If I think of the way my hand stretches over
space as if it were itself my ghost,
the sun finally rises behind the cloud bank.
Hands like mine want to span so much farther than
the next hand, folded paper, water
And I lose them as they break and wash away
into something they're not.
July 29 09
space as if it were itself my ghost,
the sun finally rises behind the cloud bank.
Hands like mine want to span so much farther than
the next hand, folded paper, water
And I lose them as they break and wash away
into something they're not.
July 29 09
The Difference
Nothingness is not darkness
Even that can hold and be held
Can be walked through and smelled
Its "ness" rolls into open mouths
and opened eyes.
The darkness can be understood
In its values: Seen unseen unseeable
Clearer than Brilliance-studded light
that offers values insincerely:
see see see
When there's so much originally belonging
to shadow and deeper than shadow: spirit.
Even that can hold and be held
Can be walked through and smelled
Its "ness" rolls into open mouths
and opened eyes.
The darkness can be understood
In its values: Seen unseen unseeable
Clearer than Brilliance-studded light
that offers values insincerely:
see see see
When there's so much originally belonging
to shadow and deeper than shadow: spirit.
Act of Worship
I don't believe in the Holy Spirit
In your still birds
who with me are always respectful
of prayer.
We are not seen or heard
as you pray rain
all morning starting with
my unbelief.
I don't believe you exist
or that you draw us out to watch
you pour prayer,
that I can't help stand here in it,
that this is the only way to blur
the lines of skin and spirit,
that I want your rain.
I don't believe you fill me
and make my throat ache
afraid I'll never stop if
you begin like this.
But I'll open my mouth
This is my deed, add the belief,
to swallow your prayer
open my mouth
to your breath
the Holy Communion.
In your still birds
who with me are always respectful
of prayer.
We are not seen or heard
as you pray rain
all morning starting with
my unbelief.
I don't believe you exist
or that you draw us out to watch
you pour prayer,
that I can't help stand here in it,
that this is the only way to blur
the lines of skin and spirit,
that I want your rain.
I don't believe you fill me
and make my throat ache
afraid I'll never stop if
you begin like this.
But I'll open my mouth
This is my deed, add the belief,
to swallow your prayer
open my mouth
to your breath
the Holy Communion.
Exhaust
The things we break in our hands
we do after we part
so you won't see the mess we make
of ourselves
so you won't clean it up for us so quickly
and make us laugh.
I'll only love you in the night
when you're not yourself
but you become so self-conscious
and I dissapear with you
lost
finally holding no conversation.
An old meaningless city street
is all that runs through my heart
pushing exhaustion to its place
Later
My most dear and meaningful thoughts
are my most useless
and they hover in that street
like exhaust.
we do after we part
so you won't see the mess we make
of ourselves
so you won't clean it up for us so quickly
and make us laugh.
I'll only love you in the night
when you're not yourself
but you become so self-conscious
and I dissapear with you
lost
finally holding no conversation.
An old meaningless city street
is all that runs through my heart
pushing exhaustion to its place
Later
My most dear and meaningful thoughts
are my most useless
and they hover in that street
like exhaust.
This is another list poem: What Takes Longer Than Thirty Minutes
Drinking American black coffee.
the rain to stop.
to forget gravity and its new strength.
memorizing words.
listing apologies and the reasons
for not saying them.
enough time to hold broken pieces
kept stacked like scrap
pottery until I found they were really
bits of unlined paper
blown easily in the trail
of trains planes and automobiles.
the rain to stop.
to forget gravity and its new strength.
memorizing words.
listing apologies and the reasons
for not saying them.
enough time to hold broken pieces
kept stacked like scrap
pottery until I found they were really
bits of unlined paper
blown easily in the trail
of trains planes and automobiles.
Replacing the Horizon Line
Want sky
don't belong there
can't keep up
can't stay
and can't stand
the strangeness of space.
Must keep falling and rising
people mountain people sea
falling and rising
until the sky finally crashes
and we can be together
in the space the horizon line used to fill.
june 28 09
don't belong there
can't keep up
can't stay
and can't stand
the strangeness of space.
Must keep falling and rising
people mountain people sea
falling and rising
until the sky finally crashes
and we can be together
in the space the horizon line used to fill.
june 28 09
Last City
You won't stretch me over your machine, City
I won't care for those things in bags
I won't care for the things I tuck in books
or even the things I find there.
There is too much space between bodies
to be sick over the space left by lost things.
And the weight that fills
my body like saltwater, heavy ocean saltwater
can stand your schemes, City,
of untruth.
6 28 09
I won't care for those things in bags
I won't care for the things I tuck in books
or even the things I find there.
There is too much space between bodies
to be sick over the space left by lost things.
And the weight that fills
my body like saltwater, heavy ocean saltwater
can stand your schemes, City,
of untruth.
6 28 09
Sino Coffee
Coffee should always taste this poisonous
and the days should too
then I could take the smallest slowest sips
with some breaths in between
low breaths that barely make it past my teeth
little pains so rich in their tinyness
and I won't forget to love
even the bitterness.
June 28 09
and the days should too
then I could take the smallest slowest sips
with some breaths in between
low breaths that barely make it past my teeth
little pains so rich in their tinyness
and I won't forget to love
even the bitterness.
June 28 09
June Bugs
June bugs bump against the glow of your thighs
Blue filaments buzzing under white glass skin
In the dark they are long low florescents
barely making it brighter
And I wish you'd open your matching eyes.
June 21
Blue filaments buzzing under white glass skin
In the dark they are long low florescents
barely making it brighter
And I wish you'd open your matching eyes.
June 21
Stones of Spring
We lean against the stones of Spring
Great grey rocks, sunwarmed of any shadow
Ebenezers that eternity has come this far
and we've kept apace.
And in Autumn we'll find black stones
saturated with cold
our skin will drink from them
like Moses' desert rock.
May 28, 09
Great grey rocks, sunwarmed of any shadow
Ebenezers that eternity has come this far
and we've kept apace.
And in Autumn we'll find black stones
saturated with cold
our skin will drink from them
like Moses' desert rock.
May 28, 09
Lipstick
The wax of lipstick has sunk in
Pink elegant a woman again
Over boyshirt over bluejeans over boy company
The lipstick stripes bright and pink
"I like your lips"
Bite to see
What's changed between peach and pink
June 3, 09
Pink elegant a woman again
Over boyshirt over bluejeans over boy company
The lipstick stripes bright and pink
"I like your lips"
Bite to see
What's changed between peach and pink
June 3, 09
The Gym Trees
The gymnast is in the tree
forgetting elbows and knees
are made with bone and skin
not just shapes good for
wrapping around
limb in limb
shimmying leaves.
May 27 09
forgetting elbows and knees
are made with bone and skin
not just shapes good for
wrapping around
limb in limb
shimmying leaves.
May 27 09
Golden
You're golden
You glow
You glint in your glory
You think
and don't catch yourself
You think
and don't care
Your eyes think
and swerve
and bend the gold
golden light
on its way out.
May 27, 09
You glow
You glint in your glory
You think
and don't catch yourself
You think
and don't care
Your eyes think
and swerve
and bend the gold
golden light
on its way out.
May 27, 09
Small Measures
The things in bottles that swim
the length of my body
are shorter than my arm
And the spirit that rises off my breath
is even smaller.
My life is thinner than my shadow
and my dreams even thinner.
The love that fills my hands
is weaker than my sleep
and the strength to hand it to you
weaker.
May 12, 09
the length of my body
are shorter than my arm
And the spirit that rises off my breath
is even smaller.
My life is thinner than my shadow
and my dreams even thinner.
The love that fills my hands
is weaker than my sleep
and the strength to hand it to you
weaker.
May 12, 09
Naming
The children are not to be cared about
nor are the dying
the hopeless
the slaves of others
the spaces of darkness
in mouths
in hands
in roads
in homes
between bodies
They are to be known
and named.
May 12, 09
nor are the dying
the hopeless
the slaves of others
the spaces of darkness
in mouths
in hands
in roads
in homes
between bodies
They are to be known
and named.
May 12, 09
The White and I
It's the first time I've painted over my name
Covering this frame in my manipulated dream
was easier
even with eyes closed
than this new white
It wants to rake and bald
The white and I hold arms
and don't question the nature of our relationship
It was clear with the colors and lines
I drew, it came
Now who is going or coming
disappearing or returning
is uncertain and unimportant
The river does not stop catching rain
just because it's full
It swells indiscriminately
sending and being sent
on.
May 12, 09
Covering this frame in my manipulated dream
was easier
even with eyes closed
than this new white
It wants to rake and bald
The white and I hold arms
and don't question the nature of our relationship
It was clear with the colors and lines
I drew, it came
Now who is going or coming
disappearing or returning
is uncertain and unimportant
The river does not stop catching rain
just because it's full
It swells indiscriminately
sending and being sent
on.
May 12, 09
Tangle
Ankles tangle
Mouths and their words tangle
The past and the dreams about it
tangle
Now and now on tangle
Love and all its branches
tangle.
There's nothing but to sleep like this
nothing but to say nothing
in all the trust it takes to
keep silent.
may 12, 09
Mouths and their words tangle
The past and the dreams about it
tangle
Now and now on tangle
Love and all its branches
tangle.
There's nothing but to sleep like this
nothing but to say nothing
in all the trust it takes to
keep silent.
may 12, 09
My Weight
If I was as light as that top limb
I'd move when you do
leaping at your passing
Why have you given me the weight
of a moon with its broad orbit
I long to return with the rain
reversing its fall
I long for you to let me move
into you.
may 7, 09
I'd move when you do
leaping at your passing
Why have you given me the weight
of a moon with its broad orbit
I long to return with the rain
reversing its fall
I long for you to let me move
into you.
may 7, 09
Waiting Out Truth
I want to see it when the first cloud lets go
I want to have it memorized before I write one word
truth tries to shake me, wanting to be left alone
to happen in secret
It sends the ants in a storm underfoot
but I don't leave the side
of the heavy striped sky
It sends the day's plans, its time
but I only watch the mosquitoes clear out of the way
I will wait for you, truth
I know you plan to fall here,
out of the way
as we run for cover of roofs
But the Lord has said
wherever I turn, he will whisper your whereabouts
And I will even enjoy waiting on you
as the moss enjoys itself in the wintertime.
may 7, 09
I want to have it memorized before I write one word
truth tries to shake me, wanting to be left alone
to happen in secret
It sends the ants in a storm underfoot
but I don't leave the side
of the heavy striped sky
It sends the day's plans, its time
but I only watch the mosquitoes clear out of the way
I will wait for you, truth
I know you plan to fall here,
out of the way
as we run for cover of roofs
But the Lord has said
wherever I turn, he will whisper your whereabouts
And I will even enjoy waiting on you
as the moss enjoys itself in the wintertime.
may 7, 09
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